“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Waves of Grief

5 Strands - 5 Lives
Jann, Sister Terese, Linda, Ruth & Sheri

I have begun a class called "Grief Release." When my friend, Linda, lost her dad about two weeks ago, I decided to take the class with her. Of course, I did not need to take the class. Who was I kidding?

We had to introduce ourselves and give a brief synopsis of our current (past 2-5 years) "loss." Well, my most current and painful loss has been Ruth. My precious Ruth. My step-father, Jack, passed away December 2006 after an ugly bout with Parkinson's, and a dear friend, Curt, passed away in September of 2005.

Our leader has encouraged us to journal. At least five minutes a day for homework. She told the class that journaling might become addictive and definitely productive. Well, that means this blogging is good for me!

I found a "Rose for Ruth" at a nursery the other day. My husband planted it in the back yard for me. I still need to get a trellis for it. It was perfect.... red color .... climber .... and scented! I didn't realize until it was planted the name for it is "Stairway to Heaven." Perfect!

So, I'm grieving and journaling and remembering the past. The above photo was taken on October 20th of last year. My friends, Jann and Linda, and I try to get together every 6-8 weeks for a retreat. We go to a Catholic Retreat center. They let us in even though we are not Catholic. They let us have rooms for hanging out and even individual bedrooms for napping. They even feed us. We spend our time discussing our lives, our hurts, our victories, and our Lord.

This time, Ruth came along with us. I usually bring something to knit... so I had grabbed a couple yarns that I thought might look good together and threw them in a bag with a set of size 15 needles. It turned out that I had picked up 5 yarns. It was God being in the details. Interweaving 5 lives together. I had three varieties of red, one purple, and one black. Sister Terese was represented by the black fiber. Jann by the purple, her favorite, of course! Ruth loves red and she is fun, so red fun fur. Linda loves red, so she was the red chenille. Only strand left was for me. A red plain wool. Well, I figured that although wool is scratchy... it does keep you warm! So, I started the first of 5 scarves. (As a side note, the colors really worked out because Linda, Jann, and Ruth are red-hatters!)

When Ruth died I wished I would have gotten her scarf, to remember her. I didn't have the heart to ask her daughter.

We had such a sweet relationship.
We loved each other deeply and dearly.
She had been part of my healing even before I met her.
Will I ever love like that, again?
I have to admit...
I am hesitant to even think of it.

Previous Posts about Ruth
My Soul Mother
Update on Ruth


Kathy said...

I enjoyed reading this! Was Ruth the elderly lady in the picture? And was she a relative or a friend?

walkalongside said...

What a precious post! I am so glad we all got to experience Ruth! What a treasure she has been to us. I am really glad to hear you and Linda are able to go to "Grief Release" together. Brings back memories of Linda and I going to GriefShare together and going on our first retreat together....with you.

Adrienne said...

Sheri - I came here from Brin's "Messy, Thrilling Life". I read through the comments posted about her grandfather Jack and when I got to yours I knew you were part of Grief Release with my dear friend, Joanne. Her quote about grief that you shared with Brin was the first thing in her class to let me know that I was going to make it when I lost my dear dad. I know you will benefit from the classes and that you will be glad you were part of them.

I'm a near neighbor to you. I live in Canby. It's nice to 'meet' someone else in the Portland area.