Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Excuse Me While I Sharpen My #2 Pencil
I am currently studying Elijah in my "quiet time." Elijah is the prophet who had the guts to make fun of the god, Baal. (I Kings 18:21-39). Elijah taunted the worshippers of Baal, "Shout louder... Perhaps he [Baal] is in deep thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." Then the very next day, Jezebel vowed to kill Elijah. He was so afraid that he ran for his life and wanted to die! (I Kings 19:1-9) The VERY NEXT DAY...
Ouch! This reminds me of... ME! One day I will feel content in my relationships - and the next day I'll be having a pity party. "So and So has not called me back!" "This person let me down, again." "No one left a comment about this post." "I'm lonely. I have no friends. What is wrong with me, Lord?!" Yuck, I hate even writing this down! The truth hurts.
About two months ago, I was having a conversation with one of my friends. (Yes, I really do have friends!) She is an attractive well-put-together business woman. We made a pact - when we start to feel like we are "alone" or "lonely" - we call the other person, so that we are not relying upon our own judgment. Well, of course, I did not call her... I can handle this on my own, right? I realize it would have helped if I would have called her as soon as I started "feeling" this way.
God did provide encouragement. A kindred spirit who I contact probably once a year. Her name is Christine. We met at church in Frederick back in 1995. Just months before we loaded up the wagons to head to Oregon. Our hearts knit immediately and we wondered out loud why God would bring us together only to share a few months of fellowship. She even used Ruth 1:16-17 in her wedding vows. She made a calligraphy of the verses in a frame which still sits at my bedside over twelve years later.
Christine had sent me her Christmas card via e-mail. I decided to invite her to visit my blog. She sent the most encouraging e-mail. When I read her words they were like sustenance to the soul. No longer was I relying on my feelings - having my pity party.
God has been dealing with me on my "friendships with women." I say to Him, "I thought we already worked through this..." and He says, "we have, but on this test, I want you to not just pass, but get 100%. So, you are going to be refined... and perhaps share what you have learned in the process." (I remembered hearing this test analogy from Beth Moore's study on Daniel. The final DVD of the study.)
So, here I am... pulling out a sharpened #2 pencil... will you join me, friend?