“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Friday, November 21, 2008

The Symptoms


It became necessary for me to take a siesta IMMEDIATELY
this week because I started noticing the following symptoms:
  • Nervousness and trembling
  • Insomnia
  • Extreme exhaustion
  • GI upset
  • Noticeably tired around the eyes
  • Heightened anxiety
  • Irritability
  • Inability to make decisions
  • Feeling lonely
  • Moodiness or crying for no reason
Fear upon fear. I must be sinking into another Dark Night of the Soul... depression. Time to retreat and spend some heavy duty one-on-one time with God. Time to pull out my beloved book Conquering Depression. Time to cancel all commitments. Time to relieve all responsibilities. Time to gather my prayer partners... but was I being too extreme?

I asked Anthony. He had noticed the symptoms, too. I should call the psychiatrist in the morning.

One of my friends called the next morning to see how I was doing. "I'm fine," I said through the tears. "I don't know why I am crying. I'm fine, really."

She said she would pray for me, but that I was to get off the phone and call the doctor. And she would call back to make sure that I did. (God bless you, dear sister... you did the right thing!)

I spoke with the doctor and told him my symptoms, but I said the strange thing is... I don't have a feeling of hopelessness. My disposition was great. And, yes, actually, I had noticed that my appetite was increased... and then it hit me... it was hyperthyroidism.

My Thyroid Cancer had been detected in 1994 at the young age of 26. Because it was found to be malignant, the entire Thyroid was removed and I have been on medication ever since. There are times when my body absorbs the medication at a quicker rate... and I become hyperthyroid. (And the contrary is the same.)

And the symptoms... well, they look just like... depression.

So, I know... I know... I should have let you know, so you could pray for me. But there's a fear associated with depression... that you might treat me differently... which might seem confusing... but so is fear and depression.

And really, I thank God for this "little scare" because I ran right back into His open arms... and pressed deeply into Him. And He showed Himself as He always does.... God is greater than my depression.

What, then, shall we say in response to this?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son,
but gave him up for us all—
how will he not also, along with him,
graciously give us all things?
Romans 8:31-32

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad the right thing was done. Sometimes people are afraid they are being too pushy, out of line. I'm praying for you, friend!

BP said...

I'm glad you told us and I will be praying for you. I'm glad you figured it out. Hugs to you.

Vickie said...

I so understand the fear of depression and seeing those symptoms. I will be praying for you if you will pray for me because I am experiencing the same issues. Although I don't have those physical issues.

VINTAGE GIRL AT HEART said...

Prayers and Blessings that you get your meds straightened out and are feeling better soon. Sharing is sometimes half the battle.. so to speak. It is when we turn inward that it seems overwhelming.
You are so strong and uplifting to so many of us. I enjoy all of your posts, you are so true to what is in your heart daily.

boutcrazy said...

May God ease your fears and your soul. May you find comfort in the shadow of His wings. May you regain your strength and may we not forget to lift you up to our Heavenly Father.

Tammy said...

my sweeet sister God had you on my heart and while I didnt know why you were I just prayed for you. I am so glad you got things figured out and true friends will love you depression or health or whatever is on your heart.

hugs to you

Becoming Me said...

How scary. I am so glad that you know your body well and took the steps needed to help you through the situation.

cammyk said...

hugs and kisses, Sheri.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing. I hope all is treatable. You are good to recognize when something's not going "right" with your body, mind, and spirit.

I pray your Thanksgiving will be filled with rest and peace and a deep sense that all is right and well with your soul.

God bless.

peace~elaine

Tanner Family Blog said...

I hope you are feeling good. I hope we can get together soon - let's try before the busy holiday time!

Kentucky Bound said...

The anchor holds . . . .!

Isn't it wonderful tht there are people who know us and love us and accept us for who we are despite our earthly flaws!

Thank you for being open and honest and such a blessing!

Blessings and hugs from the creek!
Liz

Rhonda Azari said...

Sheri! I am thankful that God's promises prevail!

Also, what an example you present.... that you listen and look.... and so quick to seek God!!

I am thankful that it turned out to be thyroid related and not a dip into the dark night of soul. I am praying for you and for the med adjustments.... ((((Squeezing hugs to you!!))))