“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Thursday, May 28, 2009

feeling self-conscious and loving it!

But Moses said,"Please Lord,
send someone else to do it."
Exodus 4:13 NIV

I have the privilege of hanging out with 3rd grade girls on Wednesday evenings. And that is what I do... hang out. I don't have to prepare lessons or crafts. I don't attend meetings. I show up late and sometimes leave early.

Last summer, when I considered if I had any time available to serve in the children's ministry department at our church, I realized that the best time for me would be on Wednesday evenings. Anthony and Christopher hang out with the Royal Rangers (our church's version of Boy Scouts), so I'm normally on my own.

However, due to Anthony's schedule, I can't get to church until 7pm... and due to Christopher's schedule... I need to leave at 8:30pm. (The truth be known is that I turn into a pumpkin at 8:31pm if I am not at home.)

I remember calling the amazing gal who oversees the Missionettes program (ie Girl Scouts) and saying, "Hey, I can basically be a warm body in a room from 7-8:30pm on Wednesday nights. Take me or leave me." She was more than happy to have me hang out with the 3rd grade girls and an amazing teacher and assistant.

It has been a wonderful year of getting to know these precious young ladies. I committed to one year which is coming to completion and am currently inquiring of the Lord as to any further commitment. Which is difficult. I love hanging out with the girls and leaders... and yet, I feel a pull to something... an unknown something...

And last night, I walked into the 3rd grade room, and on the board was written the current memory verse for the African Studies badge.

Then I heard the voice
of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send?
And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Isaiah 6:8 NIV

And I thought... what a comparison.

Isaiah saying, "Send me!"

and Moses protesting, "Send someone else!"

Perhaps, Isaiah 6:8 would have been a better memory verse for me... but then, again, the humanness of Moses is probably easier for me to relate to... because in the end... Moses did go... and the Israelites were freed from captivity according to God's plan.

So, when I struggle with feeling self-conscious about blogging or knitting or teaching or whatever, I am now strengthened by the thought that God did use Moses... despite his feelings of inadequacy.

And what about you? Have you been feeling inadequate about something God is calling you to do? I hope that you are encouraged within your weakness to say, "Send me!"


elaine @ peace for the journey said...

A good word for me Sheri. I can honestly say I've responded both ways in the past. Not sure where I stand today, but more than not, I am willing to be used by God. Sometimes I simply wish the directions were a bit clearer.


a portland granny said...

I'm willing, but life limits one at times. I'm glad you are enjoying the third grade girlies--my favorite age of all, having spent 30 years in third grade!! I just love that age!

bp said...

Thanks, Sheri. I love how God used both of these verses this week and you shared them here. I'm praying for his leading.