“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Me, Myself & Lies: Self-Talking!

My current Bible Study, Me, Myself & Lies focuses on our self-talk. Sometimes as I'm working through the content... it is hard for me to remember concrete examples of how negative my self-talk can be. This is where journaling (or blogging) comes in handy. I encourage you to journal about your negative self-talk, so that you can know what you need to combat... and to remember how far God has brought you!

Prime Example of Sheri's Self-Talk from March 9th of this year...

I'm Angry!
March 9, 2009

Fresh Snow this Morning...

Last week, I decided to stop blogging.

After teaching last Tuesday on Abigail... I believed the lie that I was told. "You didn't do it. You weren't good enough. You were telling people things they already knew. You sighed too often. You crossed your arms. You made exaggerated statements. Why did you think you should be up there teaching?"

And so, if I was that poor of a teacher... why did I feel that my random musings via blogworld would be any different?

When asked by a friend* "How did it go?" I said, "It went."

Despite the fact that one of the ladies at my table said to me that she wanted to pick up my challenge to be an Abigail (or Jonathan) to someone who is in an Abigail-like situation. Despite the fact that my pastor's wife commended me on Facebook for all to see. Despite the encouraging words of ladies I love and I adore... and more importantly... I trust.

But what is worse... It was despite the fact that I was obedient to what God asked me to do... and even more so... despite all of the intercession that had occurred on my behalf... and finally despite the fact that I truly knew it was "not about me" and that God would have to be the one to "bring it"...

Yet, the lie was easier to believe. I wondered... was it false humility? Perhaps. But the lie was strong and deep and it was carefully mastered. Almost as if the lie came from someone who would want to tear me to shreds... so that I would shut up... hold back... sink within myself...

And frankly, it worked... this week I have been suffering from PTD (post-teaching depression).

But God would not let me stay there. During church service on Sunday, we had a guest speaker who spoke to us about

guilt vs. grace
shame vs. righteousness
condemnation vs. conviction.

And I got angry. Angry for being lied to. Angry for believing the lie.

And I realized that I must not be the only one who feels this way, so I immediately ran home and wrote an e-mail to the gal who is teaching this Tuesday. And I am praying for her before she teaches... and during her teaching... but now I know to pray for her AFTER she teaches.

Then, I knew that I should post about this week of weakness. Because it wasn't just for my benefit, but for yours.

And so, I again cling to these words penned by the apostle Paul...

4My message and my preaching
were not with wise and persuasive words,

but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power,

5so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom,
but on God's power.

1 Corinthians 2:4-5 NIV

I don't understand why it is easier to believe a lie about ourselves... especially when we are the one speaking it. Sisters, we must remember who we are in Christ. We must remind each other and encourage each other. We must use what we have learned during our weak times to strengthen those around us.

...that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.
Romans 1:12 NIV

1 comment:

bp said...

Isn't this study just wonderful? I am enjoying it so much.