“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Monday, August 3, 2009

Coincidences


I don't believe in coincidences. I've seen too many of them to give them any credit. Too many coincidences that have brought me into a deeper walk with the Lord. Coincidences that have brought confirmation. Revealed God's love for someone. Availed opportunity.

But here I am. In a situation that I don't want to be in... feeling feelings that I don't want to feel. Wanting acceptance from someone who withholds. And I'm hurting.

And I want to get over it. Be beyond it. Thinking... aren't I more mature than this? But the tears come... and overwhelm.

I know the logical answers as to why the situation is occurring. When I am of a controlled mind, I can combat my emotions. But every now and then... after an occurrence, I deal with fits of sobs.

I have been here before. Feeling these same feelings. Worked through it for the better. And so I think, "Lord, why can't I just get over this?"

And He has gently reminded me... that nothing is a coincidence. That I am tasting these raw emotions for a reason. That He will use this bitter root to one day bring sweet fruit. And I believe Him.

But today... part of me really just wants to rip the roots out of the ground.

And so I have personalized 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 from The Message to remind me to trust God in this non-coincidence.

Sheri, don't give up.
Care more for this person than for yourself.

Don't want what you don't have...


Sheri, don't force yourself on others,

Don't always think "me first,"

Don't fly off the handle,

Don't keep score of the sins of others...


Sheri, instead, take pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Put up with anything,
Trust God always,
Always look for the best,

Never look back,

But keep going to the end.

4 comments:

vintage at heart said...

Hang in there!!! You are always on the right track and unknowingly keep a few of us there too!!!

a portland granny said...

Sherry, I'm with you in your anguish-so sorry that it is getting you down. The thing I've found is when I feel like you describe, I truly let the enemy in--write letters to the person, destroy the letters, then can't keep my thoughts about the situation under control.

Time to come spend the day making cards!! Let's do it

bp said...

I always am touched in some way by what you write.

Deborah said...

Sheri,
I read this post last week and didn't comment then, maybe, because was preparing my heart for something that was going to happen to me. I'll be honest, the first time I read it, my thoughts were...good post, good insight. Then today, when I read it again, God said, "Did you get it this time?" And the answer was YES. Today it spoke volumes. I've got to go know and look up that verse and make it my own.