“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Saturday, November 14, 2009

My Very Own Purim

We're in the last week of our Esther study. Each day of homework that I complete I am somehow more amazed with the One I call Lord and Savior.

I just completed Day 3 of Week 9, An Annual Remembrance. Beth Moore reminds us that the book of "Esther shows that ordinary events are never coincidental in the lives of God's people." She then encourages us to remember any turnarounds (a time when the Lord delivered you from despair) in our lives... to read Psalm 30:1-3, 11-12... and to personalize it, "O Lord, You brought me up from the grave, you spared me from the depths of depression." (The bold is my personalization.)

Beth then shares that we should remember to praise God for our turnaround. Perhaps begin an annual celebration. How our "victories are meant to be joyfully treasured and greatly celebrated." And I thought... I already do... I already have my very own Purim.

January 15th.

And so in preparation for our table discussion this Tuesday, I thought... I will print out my posts that show my celebration of January 15th to share with the sisters at my table. So, I went to the posts to re-read them...

And here's the thing... it's not enough that I already celebrate my very own Purim. Not so coincidentally... or in other words... providentially, the words of Psalm 30 were already penned upon my heart. Thank you, Jesus.

Below is my original post celebrating January 15th on its second anniversary. Here is a follow-up post the next year. Please let me know if you have a "Purim" that you celebrate. I'll bring the cake and presents!

originally aired on January 15, 2008
In Honor of January 15th
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Christopher overheard me saying that January 15th is an anniversary of sorts. He asked why I was celebrating January 15th. At first, I told him that an anniversary isn't always something that is celebrated, but actually in this instance... in an odd sort of way... I guess he was right.

Sunday, January 15, 2006
I woke up tired. Light-headed. Dizzy. I fought the feelings and pulled myself together to go to church. All I can remember is sitting down in the pew and having the desire... no, make that the need to lay down.

My mind raced. Where could I lay down at church? Wasn't every room being utilized? Then I remembered the "Mother's Room." Perhaps it would be empty this early in the morning. It was empty, but I felt strange laying on the floor... I mean, what if someone walked in? So, I tried to sit in one of the rocking chairs, but I couldn't hold up my head.

At the end of service... I don't remember if I sat through service or not... I think I stayed in the "Mother's Room"... I persuaded Anthony and Christopher to take me home. I immediately crawled into bed.

And so began my journey into a very deep and cavernous depression.

So, why would I "celebrate" such a day? Psalm 30 captures my thoughts today:
I will exalt You, O LORD,
For You lifted me out of the depths...
I called to You for help and You healed me....
You brought me up from the grave...
You spared me from going down into the pit...
To the Lord I cried for mercy...
You turned my wailing into dancing...
You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy...
That my heart may sing to YOU and not be silent...
O LORD my God, I will give YOU thanks forever.

So many of you were used by God... my heart swells when I think of you... Others of you, well, you just met me... but somehow you knew I was a little different. LOL

After we finish The Friendships of Women... if you're up to it, we'll talk a little more about depression... Don't worry, I know what happens at the end of the story... there is dancing and singing and joy.... and HOPE.


Daughter of Zion said...

I remember that post, and its so good to see how far you have (and I)have travelled in our journey.

I am Glad to be back! Thanks for stopping by, and I look forward to reading your posts again.

Amy said...

I celebrate with you! God is indescribably good! 10 years ago I was in France - free from depression and bulimia. That year in France was my turn-around year. I never could have imagined what a simple act of obedience in going would end up bringing to my life. Praise God!

Sherrie said...

I too, celebrate with you! God not only brought you to us Sheri, he brought you through it..I consider my turn-around to be March 7th of this year, when tragically suicide took my two step children's mother and my friend. It was just like Beth described when her dog had to be picked up and pivoted into a totally new direction. Literally this happened to me as well. I had to be picked up..and as I stand here today, 8 months later..and see the hand of God I know that He was all over the events before, during and after this death.
He brought me through the doors to pick up the Esther Workbook, and then step out in faith and ask to sit at a table where I new I would be fed spiritually. From the 1st page of this study to the last, every event has inspired me to consider the steps God took for the sake of my two kids. How He chose me for "such a time as this" to raise an orphan girl named Janey. I have seen God first hand ladies --do something that 8 months ago I would not have believed could happen. He lifted my head, provided comfort, and placed my feet on solid ground...I know He loves me...and today I celebrate with each of you...for this journey was one I will forever remember.

elizabeth embracing life said...

I use to day I have many trophies on my mantel, that only God and I share, and believe me there are many. So many times that make no sense from the world's pespective but it's so cool how He smiles on our lives even in our darkest hours. In the words of Keith Green "but then you took me by surprise....like waking up from the longest dream, how real it seemed, until Your love broke through..." Been listening to him today.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I, too, experienced my own "dark night"--my Purim--my turnaround. It came to me in November of 1995. I don't think I've written about it before at the blog; perhaps I will sometime...

It's as vivid to me now as it was 14 years ago. I remember the night battle that raged and the victory of the morning's light. Like none other, sweet friend. Just the beginning of the long road home. By faith, I made it home; by grace all the more.