“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Loss of a Child

Last night I was reading the article "2 1/2 Hours with Audrey" and as I read the sidebar I folded the corner of the magazine knowing it was my next post. Still I struggled today. Not wanting to write the post. Thinking that it wouldn't be for everyone. But the Lord said that it was okay because it was for someone. And so for you dear friend, I write this post.

Some of you may already know the story of Audrey. She is the daughter of Todd and Angie Smith... and her brief life lasted 2 1/2 hours. Todd is a vocalist for the band Selah. Their song I Will Carry You was written in Audrey's memory. Angie has a blog and a an upcoming book.

Here is the sidebar for the article "2 1/2 Hours with Audrey" from Thriving Family Magazine, January/February 2010. It is how to help those who are grieving the loss of a child... including those who have miscarried.

How to Help

The loss of a child is devastating for a family. If you've never experienced that loss, you may feel uncertain about how to support and comfort those who have. Angie and Todd Smith offer the following suggestions for walking with families through the grieving process:

Be available. Let them know you are willing to help, to pray, to do whatever they need.

Be a good listener. Learn to sit in silence, simply weeping with those who weep.

Allow them to be honest. Even if their thoughts and feelings aren't theologically accurate, don't criticize or correct them.

Don't take it personally. If you feel shut out by friends or family, realize that it is part of their grieving process.

Send letters, cards and e-mails. Acknowledge significant birthdays and anniversaries.

Avoid comments such as, "At least you have two other children," or "At least it was only eight weeks." You don't need to explain or attempt to fix the brokenness.

Avoid cliches or pat answers. While they may contain some truth, they are meaningless to the grieving person.

Don't avoid asking how they are doing. Let them know you care.

Talk about the baby by name. You can take cues to continue talking or change the subject according to the response of the grieving parent.

I'm including a YouTube video from Audrey's family of the song I Will Carry You... it is a touching memorial to Audrey Caroline... and perhaps will bring someone comfort or hope. Much love.

4 comments:

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Well, now I'm completely a mess over here...

I only know their story briefly, but watching this video made me fall in love with their faith. Whoa...

peace~elaine

Patti said...

I have been following her blog since the day Audrey was born and I can't even bear to watch that video again. I have her book on pre-order with Amazon and it would be dream come true for her to come speak at PCC someday!!

bp said...

I read that article too. I really enjoy that magazine. These tips are so wonderful really.

Marsha said...

It doesn't matter how many times I hear their story and watch their video/song, it grips my soul. Thank you for posting this. I came over from BP's.