“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

So Long, Insecurity - Week 6
Eggshells and ESP

photography by Anthony


I would think by this time... 
I would not resort to walking on eggshells... 
but I do.  

Sometimes it just seems safer 
to walk on eggshells 
than to find out what the real problem is.  

Did I say "safer"?  
Perhaps I meant "easier"?  
And that is ONLY for the short term.  

Because in the long term... 
the longer I walk on eggshells... 
the more eggshells I have to clean up.  

And really they are quite a mess.  
Sticky.  Smelly.  
And especially disgusting when wearing sandals.
~written by sister sheri

If you and I are going to develop into real, live secure women, 
it is absolutely imperative that we realign our mentalities toward men.  
We've got to get it through our thick skulls that 
men are neither gods nor devils... 
Maybe... you vacillate between the two, but this is the news flash:  
either extreme -- adoration or abhorrence -- 
always betrays the depth of our own insecurity. ~ Beth Moore, SLI

I am currently reading So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore and I am participating in the So Long, Insecurity Discussion Group on the Living Proof Ministries blog.  I decided to open my blog up to anyone who wanted to post their answers to the discussion group so that we can encourage one another in a somewhat smaller group.

These are my answers to the questions posed for Week Six based on Chapters 10 & 11.
Italics indicate either the question that Beth Moore posed on her blog or that the passage is found in the book So Long, Insecurity.

1. Based on Chapter 10, in all truthfulness, has your historical tendency been to view men (generally speaking) as gods? Or devils? 
Growing up I generally viewed men as "devils"... not trusting them.  I was abused by my father.  He divorced my mom... and I grew up in a household of women.  I always tried to have the upper hand in my dating relationships... if I lost that control... well, it was time to move on... that is... until I met him.  I've always viewed my relationship with Anthony to be a gift from God.  Not that it is all smooth sailing, but God definitely chose Anthony for me... because I did not have enough good sense at that time to do it on my own.

I am aware of how I tie my security to Anthony. If he is not happy... had a bad day... I can resort to walking on eggshells. Wondering if I can fix the problem... or am I the problem?
2. Based on Chapter 10 and your own day-to-day observances, what differences do you see between men’s insecurities and women’s?
Chapter 10 reminded me of the book Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.  How husbands and wives get on "The Crazy Cycle"
... she reacts without respect he reacts without love she reacts without respect...
and so on.  How men crave respect (ie fear of failure) and women crave love (ie fear of rejection).  I highly recommend this book.
3. On p.208 in Chapter 11, I suggest that women who struggle with insecurity tend to be particularly taken with 2 divine attributes: omnipotence and omniscience. Did either of these resonate with you? If so, how?
Extrasensory perception - Honestly.  Christopher asks me quite often which super hero power I would choose if I could choose any one I wanted.  ESP.  That way I would know if I am upsetting someone or if I have hurt someone or what exactly they want from me.  Omniscience.. hadn't thought of it that way... and I much rather like that terminology, but I'll save that for God.  I've got enough to deal with in my own head.
The healing of the mind requires far more intimacy 
with Christ than the healing of mere bodies... 
Instead He chooses to transform our willing minds 
one reflection at a time... ~ Beth Moore, SLI

[You] may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, 
in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.  Colossians 2:2-3


vintage girl at heart said...

I found a bit of myelf here this morning...

rooney said...

I am so far behind in the book study, with work and the Living Beyond Yourself study! i am going to have to set it aside for now, but i love reading your posts on it!

Lora said...

Safer or easier - so true! And how true that as we try to look good while we are doing *it*, it gets sticky.

I am so sorry for the hurts you endured. God will use them all for His good. I've seen Beth Moore smiling at me from the shelves at bookstores - after reading this post, I am buying the book.

Love and hugs to you dear one.