“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Perfection, Again

Originally "aired" on October 3, 2008... and currently on my mind...

 I was accused of being a perfectionist. I was shocked and aghast! I have never considered myself to be a "perfectionist"... why just look at how imperfect I am!

Look at how messy my car is! or how unorganized my spare room is! or how I leave dishes in the sink... and don't make my bed! How I normally just want to get the job done more than I want a well done job. I mean, really!

But the person who pointed it out... is very truthful... and she knows me... very well... and I have given her permission to call me on the carpet. So, I really had to consider it. She didn't say it flippantly or without thought. She saw it in me... and for my benefit... confronted me with it. In love. Having prayed over me.

I immediately thought about my blog... especially my Substandard post. All the unwritten words... or written and kept in draft because they just weren't good enough. Words that could have brought hope or healing... left unsaid... because I am afraid of what you might think.

I think of my friendships. How I want everyone to like me... and when there is someone who continues to reject me... how might I win them over?

I think of Christopher and how I want him to succeed in school. But deep down... not only succeed, but to be better than most.

I think of my health and how I want to not have to deal with the ups and downs of having Thyroid Cancer, and low calcium, and clinical depression.

I think of how I feel after leading my Bible Study table on Tuesdays... wondering if I made a difference or did I offend someone?


And why did my friend see the need to talk to me about it? Because, she wants me to relax. She wants me to depend on God and not myself for the outcome. She wants me to be okay with the ordinary because sometimes that is what is called for... and she sees it in herself... and wants me to pray for her, too.

So, what about you? Is there an area of you life in which you are a perfectionist? Let me know... and we can pray about it together...


vintage girl at heart said...

feelin' worried about everyone today..oh i just saw the post below..be right back..

vintage girl at heart said...

I read the post and thought..hmppp. I'M NOT waivering in my FAITH.. then read more and KNEW that by worrying IAMWAIVERINGINMYFAITH!!!!
Let go and LET GOD!!!
Thanks for getting me back on track!
God speaks so wonderfully Through you!

Anonymous said...

Oh, this post is me in so many ways! My daughter said that to me the other day, but she said it was a good thing and she was realizing that she was just like me. But I had also learned that while I tend to be a perfectionist...I don't mind the dirty car, the dishes in the sink or the unmade bed....but I had the drawers not all closed, the papers out of place...could I go on?! Great post.

a portland granny said...

I used to be a perfectionist, but age has a way of changing things in our life--too tired, too busy, to keep up with all the nonsense of everything perfect. I don't think it changed because of any spiritual revelation, but rather retirement allowed me more freedom.

Oh, I still worry about how I did in social situations, wonder if I said the right things, but somehow, I can let it go so much easier these days...and I'm thankful!

That was a good post with lots of "food for thought".

You're a good girl, Sherry! Keep up your thought-provoking posts!!

Laura said...

I remember a few years ago when a former boss of mine told me that I was a "controller." I was SO offended! And in the situation that she was referring to, I still think she was wrong. HOWEVER, God started to show me areas of my life where I was trying to contol things. I just wanted to make sure that everything and everyone was doing what needed to be done. But over the years, God has continued to show me that that isn't my role. He is in control...so I don't have to be.