“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I am a living breathing resource.

photography by Anthony Kaetzel

...because you know that 
the testing of your faith 
develops perseverance.
James 1:3 NIV 

Today is a special day for me.  It is the 5th anniversary of my "dark night of the soul."  I celebrate this day because I have persevered... and continue to persevere.  My major depressive episode of 2006 brought me to my knees.  Depression was... and continues to be a test of my faith.  And as I look back I can see that my ability and willingness to persevere in the face of depression has grown stronger... has made me more complete... has made me more mature... and has shown me that I lack nothing when I turn towards the healer of my mind, soul, heart and body.

The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, 
 Prepare ye the way of the LORD, 
 make straight in the desert a highway for our God.  
 Isaiah 40:3 KJV

This week I have been studying about John the Baptist.  About how he hung out in the desert and that he prepared the way of the Lord... and not only the way of the Lord, but also he prepared a way to the Lord. 

"And he will go on before the Lord, 
in the spirit and power of Elijah, 
to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and 
the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous
—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” 
Luke 1:17 NIV

And it made me think of the ministry that God has placed before me.  That He has chosen for me.  He uses my intimate knowledge and experience with depression to prepare a way for others who are suffering with depression.  I am not the one who heals or the one who counsels or the one who diagnoses or creates a prognosis.  I am the one who shows the way towards the conquering of depression.  I am a living breathing resource.

I am a living breathing resource.  And sometimes I wonder if that is why He keeps her so near.  Because I have not conquered my depression, but I am conquering my depression.  And because it is something that tests my faith almost daily and has developed my perseverance, I am able to pass on to those who don't even know who they are fighting... a sword and a shield.  A fighting chance.  And better yet, I am able to tell them that I have persevered and am persevering... and they will get better... because God is greater than depression.

And so, I have chosen James 1:3 as my second memory verse for 2011.  A reminder for me that I don't need to run away from the testing of my faith... that it develops my ability to persevere and reminds me of the One who fights for me.

If you are joining me on the Siesta Scripture Memory Team, what is your 2nd verse?  And if you want... tell me why you chose that verse.

More information on the Siesta Scripture Memory Team can be found at the Living Proof Ministries blog.  I am so excited to have so many friends join the team!


Krystle said...

Beautiful post and oh so true!
I made a little grab button for the Siestas btw :)

Laura said...

I so appreciate your honesty and willingness to be open about your struggles and to allow God to use them to help bring healing in other peoples lives.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I'm not officially involved in the siesta scripture memory group, but I have been memorizing from the beginning of the year. This particular verse has been a theme for me over these past five months... I'll try it here without looking.

"And the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To him be the power, forever and ever." 1 Peter 5:10-11

I'm taking him at his word and claiming his healing hand on my behalf in due time.

I like that... a living, breathing resource. Yes you are! So am I.


Lisa said...

Lisa, Baltimore. "Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!" 2 Corinthians 9:15 NLT