“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Monday, August 1, 2011

I had found security in my insecurity.

The more we learn about what causes insecurity... the better we can deal with it.  Part of dealing with insecurity has to do with taking the mystery away from it.  What causes insecurity?  Why am I plagued with insecurity in this one area?  Why does this person seem to make me feel more insecure than other people?  The more we realize that there is a cause-effect... the more we can look at what is causing our insecurity... what are our triggers... and we can start to figure out why we respond as we do.  And we can give that over to God. 

Our So Long, Insecurity book discussion small group meets tomorrow.  I'd like to think of our small group as building a bridge together... and getting over our insecurity!

Here are my thoughts on this week's discussion questions from last year:

originally posted on March 2, 2010

Consider how the lilies grow...
photography by Anthony Kaetzel

Perhaps... just perhaps... there are some who think that I do not struggle with insecurity.  When I spoke at our ladies Bible Study two weeks ago, I thought my comfort zone had grown to the size of Texas.  But now... just perhaps... over the weekend... at our ladies retreat... it grew to the size of the United States.  Mind you, I still struggle with insecurity.  But I have found the benefits of being open, vulnerable and even a little "dangerous" to be much greater than the security I had found in my insecurity. Did you get that?  I had found security in my insecurity. 

I am currently reading So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore and I am participating in the So Long, Insecurity Discussion Group on the Living Proof Ministries blog.  I decided to open my blog up to anyone who wanted to post their answers to the discussion group so that we can encourage one another in a somewhat smaller group.  These are my answers to the questions posed for Week Three based on Chapters 5 and 6.

Italics below  indicate that the passage is found in the book So Long, Insecurity.

1. After reading these two chapters, what do you believe to be the TWO primary roots of your struggle with insecurity? Keep in mind that more may apply but try to lock in on two that you believe to be most impactful.

Basically... what happened in your past that might have contributed to your sense of insecurity?
The choices were:  Instability in the Home, A Significant Loss, Rejection, Dramatic Change, Personal Limitations, Personal Disposition, Our Culture, Pride.

The two primary roots of my struggle with insecurity would be:
A. Instability in the Home ~ "The disintegration of a family can jerk the rug of security out from under a couple of generations... No one wants to reflect on times we were abused or misused, but as we take this journey together, look at it this way:  those of us who share this background can rest assured that we didn't conjure up our insecurities out of thin air..."  
Even when you are old, I will be the same. 
Even when your hair has turned gray, 
I will take care of you. 
I made you and will take care of you. 
I will carry you and save you.  
Isiah 46:4 NCV

"If you've lived your life looking for someone to take care of you but always end up taking care of everyone else, your search is over.  God has what you need, and you'll never wear Him out."
B. A Significant Loss:  "It could be the loss of anything that you genuinely prize or derive stability and self-worth from... because of their impact on developing belief systems."  
 For me, it was the loss of innocence.  ~ "Simply put, if you didn't get to be a child when you were young, you suffered a loss of innocence."
 Each heart knows its own bitterness... 
Proverbs 14:10a

2. What, if any, insight did you gain about the roots of insecurity and did you sense that God was trying to speak to you in any specific way through it? (This answer does not need to be limited to the two roots you identified in the previous response.)

A. Even though someone may appear to me to be very secure in all areas of their life, they  still struggle with insecurity in areas that may not be apparent to me.
B. Even though someone struggles with insecurity, it can look very different than my insecurity.
C. How I respond to my insecurity affects my relationship with others... and how they respond to their insecurity affects their relationship with me.
D. My personal disposition predisposes me to insecurity.  "In other words, the more tenderhearted we are, the more vulnerable to insecurity we'll likely be."

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