“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Girls Behaving Prudishly

Perceived Judgment.  I am sure it comes across that way.  People reading my current Facebook status and thinking... "Who is she to judge?"  And I have to accept the fact that my boldness today may cause others to think me judgmental... and prudish!

My Facebook status:
Just found it necessary to unfriend someone on FB. A "friend" who was commenting on photos of young women who are scantily clad. Women who are not his wife. (I never would have "seen" this but the new FB ticker so generously gave me this information.) Just wanting to take this opportunity to let you know that this type of behavior can kill the soul of your wife. I will be praying for this family.
And you are right.  Prude and Prejudiced.  But let's get down to the reality of the situation.  I looked.  I saw.  And I looked, again.  And my self-talk went something like this, "Well, I better just check and make sure I saw what I saw.  I am sure that was not what I saw.  So, I better go check their Facebook wall."  And when I went to their wall... there was more.  And I looked.  Again.

Eerily enough I wrote about this very subject last year... almost exactly a year ago, in the post "I have a reputation for being a prude." And so, as I protect my eyes (and my mind and heart and soul), I pray that those of you who may not suffer from a past of sexual dysfunctional would be aware that those of us who do... may need to unfriend you.  And know that I am praying... and considering what to do with the information... especially because this "friend" may be friends with your daughters... and sons.

Thursday, October 7, 2010
I have a reputation for being a prude.

It happens in a blink, It happens in a flash...

You may want to skip this reading this post.  I'm getting on my soap box... I'm a little emotional... and most of you will find this contentious, so here's your way out... S T O P  READING NOW!

I have a reputation of being a prude.  Although I disagree with that assessment, I will not deny that many times I may come across that way.  Actually, I like to think of myself not as a prude... but as prudent.  

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm angry or incensed or mad or frustrated.  Why?  Because there is a current Facebook message that is circulating around that says something to the effect of:  "In order to increase awareness of October Breast Cancer Awareness month: Women will be posting to their Facebook status where they put their handbag the moment they get home... ie likes it on the couch, likes it on the kitchen counter or likes it on the dresser."  For those of you unfamiliar with Facebook, basically a status would look like this
Sheri Kaetzel likes it on the kitchen counter.
And here's the big joke... we are NOT supposed to let men know what we are talking about... as if they are imbeciles.  And in reality men aren't even concerned with what we are talking about because the innuendo is obvious... and intentional... my status has now become a sexual innuendo.  I have caused someone pause to wonder... What exactly does Sheri like on the kitchen counter?

Perhaps this wouldn't bother me quite as much but last year to "encourage Breast Cancer Awareness" this same type of message was sent around but this time it was encouraging women to write the color of the bra they were wearing as their status.  And again... hee hee, don't tell the men.  Of course, the men did find out... and that meant that my husband and the rest of the world knew the colors of the bras that young girls in my church were wearing that day.  Sad.  All in the name of "promoting" Breast Cancer Awareness... not.

Why this bothers me so much?  Because I have a history of sexual dysfunction in my generational background.  I am bound and determined to break that cycle for the generations to come.  And that includes my son.  We are raising him to be pure of heart and soul and mind... and body.  And to one day look forward to a loving marriage without sexual baggage to take along... and to find a young woman with the same heart and soul and mind... and body.

And if you have ever read Shaunti Feldhahn's For Women Only:  What You Need To Know About The Inner Lives of Men... you'll know what I am talking about... men's minds are wired a certain way... which is much different than women's minds.  We think we are being cute or funny... or supposedly promoting a good cause... but what we are really doing are leading men's minds to think on things that are not really lovely or pure or honorable...

And you know what, you can disagree with me all you like, but the thing is that I was raised thinking EVERYthing was a sexual innuendo whether it was or not... and then I started making sexual innuendos with  men... not caring the least bit whether they were married or not... just wanting their attention.  So when I made a decision to stop the sexual dysfunction in my own life... one of the things that had to change was sexual innuendos.  I had to stop thinking EVERYthing was a sexual innuendo... and I had to stop causing others to stumble, too.

Now, you may think this is my problem.  And I need to get over it.  And you are right.  But the thing is if you take a look around... this is a huge problem.  And these little innuendos may be cute for the moment... but they may assist in the downfall of someone else.

And I'm truly sorry if this makes anyone feel guilty about their status.  That is NOT my intent.  My intent is to help you have an awareness of the slippery slope that a lot of us live on... and to remember that we are in this world, but not of it.  And that there are better ways to promote October as Breast Cancer Awareness month.   Maybe with a status something like:
Sheri Kaetzel would like to remind everyone that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  And she thanks God that there is HOPE... and a future... for those who have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. 
Okay... I'm done now.


Cynthia said...

I love your Prudence. "When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Lord will lift up a righteous standard". Today's world is all about finding your self esteem through being attractive on the outside, "mysterious even". Those poor women have bought into the deception. While they play games, men all over struggle with addiction and are enticed in yet another way. On FB our young men get an eye full of women, young and older, who don't think anything of posting whatever they think will garner more attention. They are not only hurting themselves but other women as well. Women who don't want to be viewed salaciously and don't want their sons and husbands struggling not to stare at images while reading what kind of lingerie they might be wearing. Being a sexual abuse survivor, I find nothing amusing about games that draw attention or objectify women. A vote for Prudence is long overdue in my book. Thank you, Friend.

Kathi Woodall said...

I appreciate you so much, Sheri. Keep standing for what is right.

Sherrie said...

Standing up on the outside, when you know you were already doing it on the inside is what makes you who you are. I think you were meant to see this unsettling display. Although it was a punch in stomach--you handled it with grace and dignity. Thank you for this message and your prudence. --Love you sis!

Deborah said...

Amen! There have been times that my "friends" on facebook posted things that I knew I didn't want to read. I've defriended all men that are not related to me or that I work with and been more selective about the friends I do choose. Now that all the changes have happened on Facebook, I'm seeing entirely too much information about what others are doing and I've started to limit my presence there.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I'm with you, Sheri, 100%! Maybe 200%! As a woman who has gone through breast cancer... well, it does little show support. I've had to unfriend a few people as well for similar reasons. FB is a dangerous beast. I'm trying to be more careful about what I write there.


Laura said...

Don't know what else to say except "thank you!" It needs to be said and you said it!