Sharing a private laugh with my photographer...
Where have I been?
I had been wondering to myself why I had not been blogging lately... why I had not been writing lately. Then this morning as I was reading the dedication and acknowledgements page of the Beth Moore Bible Study James, it hit me. Melissa (Beth Moore's daughter) had written in the acknowledgements, that she had "learned how isolating and lonely writing can be..." and she was amazed that her mother could stay so happily engaged with her family "despite years of cycling in and out of writing projects."
And although I am not sure I would consider myself a writer per se... and although my posts are nothing in comparison to writing a Bible Study... it does isolate me. Often having me run upstairs mid-thought with my computer so that I can shut a door and get out the thought that is plaguing me until it is all gushed out and I push the button "Publish."
And isolation has not been happening for me lately. It has not been my calling. My calling has been to a handful of women over the past year. Mentoring. Nurturing. Listening. Crying. Texting. Praying. Studying. E-mailing. Meeting. Talking. And basically... Living. Living life together. Not leaving much time for isolation. And because of the intimacy of the discussions, my greatest fear would be revealing something about my dear loves and bringing them cause for alarm. Because they trust me. They confide in me. And I can't always say that I have been trustworthy or a bastion of confidence. But for these dear ones, I must be. God has called me to it. And so I do it.
And I feel some relief in this thought. Remembering that God can change our calling mid-stream. And we can try and hold on to what He had called us to before and muddle through it. Or we can take the new calling and move graciously ahead. And sometimes I wonder if He just has us on a detour now and then.
And I have noticed that this newest calling has brought me more and more out of my comfort zone. Not only in relationship to these precious daughters... although that is true. But to other areas of my life. Opening my home more often for fellowship. Changing my regularly scheduled Saturday evening at home to going out to dinner spur of the moment with our friends. And sharing a hotel room with two ladies in Houston! (And it was almost three!) For those who don't know me well, I totally love having my isolating alone time after an eventful day. It helps me refresh and reset. So to invite others into my downtime really feels like a risk to me. But I am trusting the Lord. Knowing that if He called me to it... He will equip me for it. And I have to admit... I am excited to see what He has in store.
So, there it is. Just me taking a little alone time today. Having lots of thoughts to share with you... as I always do, but deciding to keep this post short. And perhaps writing an "As of Late" post sooner than later...
I love you, sisters!