“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A Lack of Isolation

Sharing a private laugh with my photographer...

Where have I been?

I had been wondering to myself why I had not been blogging lately... why I had not been writing lately.  Then this morning as I was reading the dedication and acknowledgements page of the Beth Moore Bible Study James, it hit me.  Melissa (Beth Moore's daughter) had written in the acknowledgements, that she had "learned how isolating and lonely writing can be..." and she was amazed that her mother could stay so happily engaged with her family "despite years of cycling in and out of writing projects."

And although I am not sure I would consider myself a writer per se... and although my posts are nothing in comparison to writing a Bible Study... it does isolate me.  Often having me run upstairs mid-thought with my computer so that I can shut a door and get out the thought that is plaguing me until it is all gushed out and I push the button "Publish."

And isolation has not been happening for me lately.  It has not been my calling.  My calling has been to a handful of women over the past year.  Mentoring.  Nurturing.  Listening.  Crying.  Texting.  Praying.  Studying.  E-mailing.  Meeting.  Talking.  And basically... Living.  Living life together.  Not leaving much time for isolation.  And because of the intimacy of the discussions, my greatest fear would be revealing something about my dear loves and bringing them cause for alarm.  Because they trust me.  They confide in me.  And I can't always say that I have been trustworthy or a bastion of confidence.  But for these dear ones, I must be.  God has called me to it.  And so I do it.

And I feel some relief in this thought.  Remembering that God can change our calling mid-stream.  And we can try and hold on to what He had called us to before and muddle through it.  Or we can take the new calling and move graciously ahead.  And sometimes I wonder if He just has us on a detour now and then.

And I have noticed that this newest calling has brought me more and more out of my comfort zone.  Not only in relationship to these precious daughters... although that is true.  But to other areas of my life.  Opening my home more often for fellowship.  Changing my regularly scheduled Saturday evening at home to going out to dinner spur of the moment with our friends.  And sharing a hotel room with two ladies in Houston!  (And it was almost three!)  For those who don't know me well, I totally love having my isolating alone time after an eventful day.  It helps me refresh and reset.  So to invite others into my downtime really feels like a risk to me.  But I am trusting the Lord.  Knowing that if He called me to it... He will equip me for it.  And I have to admit... I am excited to see what He has in store.

So, there it is.  Just me taking a little alone time today.  Having lots of thoughts to share with you... as I always do, but deciding to keep this post short.  And perhaps writing an "As of Late" post sooner than later...

I love you, sisters!


Patti said...

Loved reading your heart. Yes, God calls us to different seasons of ministries and that is just wonderful that you are sensitive to that. I'd love to do coffee again sometime, a conversation with you is always a breath of fresh air in my world. :)(Ha, ha totally random but the "word verification" word down below is "menti"...as in, I was once your menti or mentee, depends on how you want to spell it. The Lord has a sense of humor doesn't He?? Such a cute little wink for me today).

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

You look great! Population over isolation agrees with you. New season. New changes. New strength. New year.

It all looks beautiful on you.


reapwhatshesews said...

I am such a loner too; so I can really appreciate what your invitation to share a room in Houston cost you. I am very thankful for your sacrifice which will allow me to come. This will be such a celebration of what God has done in the past year. It would have been so sad for me to miss it.THANK YOU Sister Sheri. BTW you are indeed an author and one of my hero's.

Sherrie said...

I love when you said; "God can change our calling mid-stream"..to me that was an 'Ah-ha' moment. He did that so many times in my life, and now I wonder if you realize it or not, that he is doing it again in you? When we isolate ourselves we close others off..and this is not a good combination for anyone suffering like we do from depression. I understand what you mean, but the thought came to me as I read this and I wanted to share it with you and others. I know God knows what he is doing....and to quote Beth: "I love the uncertainty of what's ahead as longs as I'm in the security of God's hands."

Deborah said...

It was so good to "see" you at LMP livestream this morning. How exciting that was and wow...the ladies that love you! I've realized that lately...I've been letting the 140 characters or more of Facebook be my reading. So I am limiting my FB time and going back to reading my Google Reader and the blogs. I really do miss doing that. I'll be thinking of you as you head to Houston. I'm headed to Kentucky that weekend with a quilt guild....my first outing with them. We should both have fun and be inspired!

gideonmommasita said...

so glad that it has been population over isolation that has kept you from blogging...even though I miss your posts....prayed for sonshine for you the other day, praying His joy in your life as you step out your comfort zone.

Laura said...

Good stuff! All of it! Sounds like God is using you in remarkable ways...and you are being obedient to His callings. It doesn't get better than that!