“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;
make me a fork
, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Thursday, November 1, 2012

My Kryptonite

My Kryptonite

I hate it the most.

                          Being misunderstood.

Often I will not participate in the discussion,
But would rather listen.
And encourage.
Then to be misunderstood.

It happened yesterday.
And once misunderstood
There is no going back.
There is no fixing it.
And when the tears come
I am lost.
They take over and won't leave me alone.

And no matter how much I rethink the matter.
It doesn't matter.
I feel weak
    and helpless...
       and pathetic...
And the rebuilding begins.

The rebuilding begins.
And what does that look like?
Defenses.
Put the walls up.
Keep the mouth shut.
Prevent being misunderstood at all costs.
No matter what.

Being vulnerable.
There's a high price to pay.

It is much easier to sit here
Typing my thoughts.
Letting them float around the web.
Because comments are few
And that is a lot easier to manage
Than sitting face to face
And being misunderstood
And feeling utterly helpless.

I am vulnerable.
I am transparent.
And it is not easy.
It is not a gift.
And often it is painful.

And so here I am... boasting about my weakness.
Praying that the power of Christ can work through me
And accepting that His grace is all I need.


Each time he said,  
“My grace is all you need. 
My power works best in weakness.” 
So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, 
so that the power of Christ can work through me.  
2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT

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