Chapter 1 - Obedience
photography by Anthony Kaetzel
"God, of course, I would do anything for you! But just don't send me to Africa."
When Anthony introduced the idea of traveling to Ethiopia for missions work, I was asked multiple times by many people if I would be going with him. I would respond the same way each time, "God hasn't called me to go to Ethiopia, but when He does I will go."
Anthony's first trip to Ethiopia with a missions team from our church was in January of 2009. He has gone six times. Each time he has encouraged me to go with him. And each time he has gone without me.
I will go when He tells me to.
I will be obedient when God speaks to me.
And I was so grateful that He didn't speak to me about it until sometime in November of 2012.
But when He did speak, I knew I would be obedient.
The only thing is that I assumed with my obedience would come an expectancy. A joy. A willing heart. But it did not. And it has not.
I am going. I am being obedient. I am not grumbling in my obedience. (Okay, well, sometimes...) But I am going.
And is obedience enough? Or do I need to be more than willing? More than able? More than going?
I do know that God has great plans. That He will use this willing vessel. That I am going to be part of a bigger plan.
But perhaps it is who I am. Neither excited or nervous (unless I really think about it). Controlling my feelings as I have done as long as I have known how.
Writing this down as perhaps my way of saying, "God help me to be willing to be willing to experience my feelings about Ethiopia."
And, now, I say... "God, of course, I would do anything for you! I will go if you send me to Africa."
For more of my thoughts on my trip to Ethiopia and Uganda visit here.