Can You hear me anyway?

Then you will call upon me
and come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you.

You will seek me and find me
when you seek me
with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:12-13

Lord Move, or Move Me by FFH

I can't find the words to pray, I'm a little down today
Can You help me, Can You hold me?
I feel a million miles away, And I don't know what to say
Can You hear me anyway?

What I need is for You to reach out Your hand
You have taught me no matter what You'd understand

Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.

I've looked every where to find a simple peace of mind
But, I can't find nothing on my own
So I gotta leave myself behind, take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold onto

Lord I know the only way is through this
But Lord, I know I need You to help me do this

Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.

Out of this place of complacency
To a place of fellowship with Thee
'Cause I am weak, but Lord, You are so strong
And You know it's been way too long
It's been way too long

Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move)...,

My Very Own Purim

We're in the last week of our Esther study. Each day of homework that I complete I am somehow more amazed with the One I call Lord and Savior.

I just completed Day 3 of Week 9, An Annual Remembrance. Beth Moore reminds us that the book of "Esther shows that ordinary events are never coincidental in the lives of God's people." She then encourages us to remember any turnarounds (a time when the Lord delivered you from despair) in our lives... to read Psalm 30:1-3, 11-12... and to personalize it, "O Lord, You brought me up from the grave, you spared me from the depths of depression." (The bold is my personalization.)

Beth then shares that we should remember to praise God for our turnaround. Perhaps begin an annual celebration. How our "victories are meant to be joyfully treasured and greatly celebrated." And I thought... I already do... I already have my very own Purim.

January 15th.

And so in preparation for our table discussion this Tuesday, I thought... I will print out my posts that show my celebration of January 15th to share with the sisters at my table. So, I went to the posts to re-read them...

And here's the thing... it's not enough that I already celebrate my very own Purim. Not so coincidentally... or in other words... providentially, the words of Psalm 30 were already penned upon my heart. Thank you, Jesus.

Below is my original post celebrating January 15th on its second anniversary. Here is a follow-up post the next year. Please let me know if you have a "Purim" that you celebrate. I'll bring the cake and presents!


originally aired on January 15, 2008
In Honor of January 15th

Christopher overheard me saying that January 15th is an anniversary of sorts. He asked why I was celebrating January 15th. At first, I told him that an anniversary isn't always something that is celebrated, but actually in this instance... in an odd sort of way... I guess he was right.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

I woke up tired. Light-headed. Dizzy. I fought the feelings and pulled myself together to go to church. All I can remember is sitting down in the pew and having the desire... no, make that the need to lay down.

My mind raced. Where could I lay down at church? Wasn't every room being utilized? Then I remembered the "Mother's Room." Perhaps it would be empty this early in the morning. It was empty, but I felt strange laying on the floor... I mean, what if someone walked in? So, I tried to sit in one of the rocking chairs, but I couldn't hold up my head.

At the end of service... I don't remember if I sat through service or not... I think I stayed in the "Mother's Room"... I persuaded Anthony and Christopher to take me home. I immediately crawled into bed.

And so began my journey into a very deep and cavernous depression.

So, why would I "celebrate" such a day? Psalm 30 captures my thoughts today:

I will exalt You, O LORD,

For You lifted me out of the depths...

I called to You for help and You healed me....

You brought me up from the grave...

You spared me from going down into the pit...

To the Lord I cried for mercy...

You turned my wailing into dancing...

You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy...

That my heart may sing to YOU and not be silent...

O LORD my God, I will give YOU thanks forever.

So many of you were used by God... my heart swells when I think of you... Others of you, well, you just met me... but somehow you knew I was a little different. LOL

After we finish The Friendships of Women... if you're up to it, we'll talk a little more about depression... Don't worry, I know what happens at the end of the story... there is dancing and singing and joy.... and HOPE.

Anonymous

I read Alicia Chole's Anonymous earlier this year... full well knowing that I would read it again... and most likely again. I passed it on to my friend, Sheila. When she was done reading it, she said, "Sheri, I know what Bible Study we're doing this winter break."

The women's Bible study I attend takes a break two times a year. Over summer and over Christmas. And I understand that. I get that. There is sooo much going on. Especially at our church which does an amazing Christmas Performance that is breathtaking every year.

But I have found for me... I have to stay in a study. Year round. Some might suggest that I could stay in the Word for the 49 days between Bible Studies on my own. But I have examined myself and found that I need structure. So, I pick a study... and now I have been inviting others to join me.

This year, it is Anonymous. And I cannot wait. The women that join me are precious jewels who realizing it or not... hold me accountable... not only to the study, but to being authentic.

And besides all that... Elaine at Peace for the Journey, my dear bloggy friend and mentor recommended it to me. (See her recommendation for Anonymous.)

So, here's my invitation to you... JOIN ME! We'll be meeting once a week to review what we read and the study guide. We'll also get to watch a session of Alicia on DVD each week. Contact me for more details if you live in the Portland area.

If you're not able to join me for the study... I encourage you to read the book. I'll be giving you glimpses into my thoughts throughout the study. I'm looking forward to the journey.

Freedom isn't Free

Three years ago, I humbly admit that I didn't acknowledge the passing of days like Veterans Day or Memorial Day. But when my dear friend lost her beloved brother on September 3rd of 2006, it became personally evident that Freedom isn't Free.

And so today, I honor all Veterans. Your sacrifice for your country is to be commended. I am grateful for the freedom that I benefit from because of your willingness to serve. God bless you and thank you.

Originally Posted Monday, May 25, 2009
In Honor of Richard J. Henkes, II:
"The Forgotten Mourners"

My dear friend, Tamara Henkes,
lost her brother on Sunday, September 3rd of 2006.




Richard J. Henkes, II, died in Mosul, Iraq
serving his country with pride.



"He loved what he was doing,
and he was very, very good at what he did.
It's what he knew and believed in."



"He believed in serving his country and
doing something
that would have a positive effect.
He believed he was doing something
for the greater good."


"...Always the jokester...
But be could also be very quiet.
He was very serious about what he was doing for a living.
He was a very caring and compassionate person."


Rich was awarded the Purple Heart and the Bronze Star.


"Rich always knew he wanted to be a soldier and believed in the mission in Iraq."


Rich grew up in Oregon and graduated from Clackamas High School in 1992 where he wrestled, ran track and was involved in band. He enlisted in the U.S. Army immediately after graduation.


Gwen Kalvelage, a friend of the Henkes family, visited this memorial in Salem, Oregon. She granted me permission to use these photos.


Often, siblings are "the forgotten mourners." Their grief often pushed to the side or discounted in preference to parents, spouses or children.


My small gesture... to comfort my friend, to honor her brother... and to never forget the sacrifice made by our military.


Greater love hath no man than this,
that a man lay down his life
for his friends. John 15:13 KJV

Enough said:-)

"You probably wondered why... it's only fair you should know... the Holy Spirit directed you to write your last three posts for me! You are a blessing! Enough said:-)

In case you are worrying about a response, there is none necessary. Just wanted you to know so you keep writing."

My last three posts? My last three posts. It didn't seem to fit in my mind. Curious, but respectful of the words, "Enough said," I left it alone. Humbled and speechless.

But she invited me in. And shared a part of herself. A part that has been kept hidden. And she was okay if I was judgmental, but she just thought I should know... so I would keep writing.

But I told her, I was not judgmental now, nor would I become judgmental later. But that my heart hurt for her. And that I wept for her. And that I weep for her. And pray.

She said I could ask her questions. And I said, "I will." But for now, my words are few.

Streams in the Desert by Charles E. Cowman
November 9

They that dwell under his shadow shall return; they shall revive as the corn and grow as the vine. Hosea 14:7

The day closed with heavy showers. The plants in my garden were beaten down before the pelting storm, and I saw one flower that I had admired for its beauty and loved for its fragrance exposed to the pitiless storm. The flower fell, shut up its petals, dropped its head; and I saw that all its glory was gone. "I must wait till next year," I said, "before I see that beautiful thing again."

The night passed, and morning came; the sun shone again, and the morning brought strength to the flower. The light looked at it, and the flower looked at the light. There was contact and communion, and power passed into the flower. It held up its head, opened its petals, regained its glory, and seemed fairer than before. I wonder how it took place--this feeble thing coming into contact with the strong thing, and gaining strength!

I cannot tell how it is that I should be able to receive into my being a power to do and to bear by communion with God, but I know it is a fact.

Are you in peril through some crushing, heavy trial? Seek this communion with Christ, and you will receive strength and be able to conquer. "I will strengthen thee."

Yesterday's Grief

The rain that fell a-yesterday is ruby on the roses,
Silver on the poplar leaf, and gold on willow stem;
The grief that chanced a-yesterday is silence that encloses
Holy loves when time and change shall never trouble them.

The rain that fell a-yesterday makes all the hillsides glisten,
Coral on the laurel and beryl on the grass;
The grief that chanced a-yesterday has taught the soul to listen
For whispers of eternity in all the winds that pass.

O faint-of-heart, storm-beaten, this rain will gleam tomorrow,
Flame within the columbine and jewels on the thorn,
Heaven in the forget-me-not; though sorrow no be sorrow,
Yet sorrow shall be beauty in the magic of the morn.
~Katherine Lee Bates

"Last Time We Spoke, You Said You Were Hurting..."

I heard this song today... and I thought if I could talk to you today... these are the words I would say...

The Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets

Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say

Then Neither Do I Condemn You

...bind up the brokenhearted,
...proclaim freedom for the captives
...comfort all who mourn,
...provide for those who grieve

...bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

...a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

condensed from Isaiah 61:1-3

I didn't mean to make you cry. But some of you did.

For some of you... the previous post easily could have been your own story. You've been there. Your tears were for the mother and daughter I wrote about... but they were also for yourself.

And then... there are some of you... and this is where my heart breaks... that made a different decision. You had the abortion. And you haven't told anyone. Not even a soul. And sometimes it seems daily that you struggle with the decision you made. And you wonder how could God forgive you? Because you can't even forgive yourself.

And if anyone knew... especially in the church! Well, the scorn and the shame... it really would be too much to bear. And you keep your struggle to yourself. And you are barely getting by some days.

I want you to know that I pray for you. I think of how hard it must be for you. Especially sitting in church or Sunday School. Hearing people gasp at the thought of a Christian making a choice to have an abortion.

I know you are there. The statistics tell me. But it will never come up in conversation. And I understand that.

But after listening to the testimony of another woman at the Pregnancy Resource Center's fund-raiser, I knew I had to let you know... that you are on my heart.

The second testimony was a precious woman who spoke of her three abortions. And I have to admit the rest of her story slips my mind... because all I could think about was her. Being there. Sharing her story so that others might share in the abundant life she found through a Bible Study called HEART.

Whenever I hear women speak of HEART their eyes glisten with tears when they talk of it. And you know that their lives are not the same because of HEART and they are eternally grateful.

HEART provides safe and confidential post-abortion support groups for men and women -- offering hope, comfort and healing. If you live in the Greater Portland, Oregon area you can call 503-22HEART or visit their website. For any other area stop by this website to find a local Pregnancy Resource Center.

If you or someone you love is facing an unplanned pregnancy, I want you to know that the Pregnancy Resource Centers are compassionate and caring. They are truly a resource. I had the privilege of volunteering at our local Pregnancy Resource Center and I was touched by the love that enveloped each woman... no matter what her decision. No condemnation. No persuasion. Just love. God's love... Jesus... poured out through human vessels.

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

John 8:3-5, 7, 9-11

Dear sisters, you are so precious to me. If it were not for Jesus, we would all have the imprints of stones on us. Death itself. But we don't have to live there.

There is hope. There is help. There is Jesus.

I love you.

I Can't Remain Silent.

"For if you remain silent at this time,
relief and deliverance for the Jews
will arise from another place,
but you and your father's family will perish.
And who knows but that you have come to
royal position for such a time as this?"
Esther 4:14

I sat there amazed.

A Reversal of Destiny. Chiastic Structure. Divine Insomnia. Peripety. A Story Worth Telling.

No, I wasn't sitting there reading the book of Esther or working on my Esther Bible Study. I was at a fund-raising event for our local Pregnancy Resource Center.

I sat listening. Entranced. There she was on the stage... an Esther of sorts. Telling about a hinge in her life that redirected her path.

She had been 19 when her boyfriend sat her down and told her that there were only two options. Abortion or adoption. And truth be told... he wanted her to have an abortion.

She had been raised in a christian home. Her parents were active in their church. Her heart hurt over the shame she would cause them... so she remained silent.

They secretly set up an appointment with an abortion clinic. After hearing the details, they decided to schedule the abortion for the next day.

The next day? The tomorrow? That sounded familiar.

If the king regards me with favor and
if it pleases the king
to grant my petition and fulfill my request,
let the king and Haman come tomorrow
to the banquet I will prepare for them.
Then I will answer the king's question.
Esther 5:8

And then she said... that in the night... she thought to herself... I need to talk to someone else before the abortion. But who? And then she recalled seeing brochures around her home about the Pregnancy Resource Center.

Not sleeping? Divine Insomnia? Brochures... chronicles?

That night the king could not sleep;
so he ordered the book of the chronicles,
the record of his reign,
to be brought in and read to him.
Esther 6:1

She told her boyfriend that before she had the abortion, she wanted to go to the Pregnancy Resource Center and talk to someone. And so they did.

And the counselor asked her if she wanted the abortion. And she said no. And the counselor asked her why she was having the abortion. And she said she wanted her boyfriend to say STOP! But he wasn't going to stop her... so she decided to do it.

She decided to stop herself.

And my heart is in my throat... because I am so like... PERIPETY! Here it is... here is THE HINGE! The hinge on which the reversal of destiny turns! Can you believe it?

And THEN she tells us that she hadn't told her daughter until recently. She decided to tell her -- after her daughter threw a Tea Party (or a feast/banquet of sorts), and asked that the money raised from the party go to the Pregnancy Resource Center. Her high school daughter didn't know the story. The Story Worth Telling!

And I am so like... GET OUT OF HERE! Chiastic Structure!? The very place (Pregnancy Resource Center) that had rescued her... she is now trying to rescue (by raising money).

The Reversal of Destiny. A precious daughter destined to be aborted...

And there she was... the precious daughter... in the room with us. Standing there. And she was beautiful and lovely. An Esther of sorts. Who had sat through her mother telling us Her Story Worth Telling.

With my heart in my throat, I quietly thanked the Lord that I was privileged to hear this story... and to hear it within days of learning about Reversal of Destiny in session six of the Esther Bible Study. And that it would be seared in my mind. Not just a lesson to be learned, but a story to be told.

A story of life. A story of redemption.

A story worth telling... and I thought... I can't remain silent.

As Simple As A Bar Of Chocolate...

Not a surprise to most of you... I am a thinker. Analytical. It's quite frustrating actually. Can't just let things go, can I?

And yet... I am a relater, too. And have this horrible habit of wanting everyone to like me.

Mush these two things together... and I am told that I can be intimidating. Or as another friend told me... "Intense, but I don't mean that in a bad way."

Intense? Me? What did she mean? I wondered all evening. Of course, not taking it personally. (Who me?) Another friend who had been part of our conversation called me the next morning and told me perhaps it was more defined by "thorough" or "in-depth"...

And then I had an epiphany. I happened to look down at a bar of chocolate that I had purchased for Anthony to enjoy after his recent marathon (which had been sadly forgotten)... and I saw the words "INTENSE DARK"... and I thought... that's it!

I don't like dark chocolate!
Whew, what a relief!

Here's the thing... dark chocolate can be intense in flavor, but I don't prefer it. I am much more so drawn to milk chocolate. It doesn't make dark chocolate bad... or any less... in my opinion. Because some people... my husband included... like dark chocolate.

Anyway, it just really set in my mind that I need to give other people a break... especially when they can't handle my level of intensity. I guess I had thought something was wrong with me... and I shouldn't be so intense... that it was bad. But something as simple as a bar of chocolate made feel a little better about myself.

God made me intense. For a reason. I guess... take it or leave it.

But next time you buy me chocolate just remember it is one time that I don't like intense... and I wouldn't mind if it had nuts in it, too!

The Secret to Peace

May 9th, 1999 Christopher's Dedication

Don't fret or worry.

Instead of worrying, pray.

Let petitions and praises shape your worries
into prayers, letting God know your concerns.

Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness,
everything coming together for good,
will come and settle you down.

It's wonderful what happens
when Christ displaces worry
at the center of your life.

Philippians 4:6-7 MSG

June 1999

Talk about peaceful. Ever had times in your life when you thought... "Wonder if that thing would work for me?" A pacifier. It would almost always do the trick. Taking Christopher from tears and frustration to immediate peace. Settle him down. It would pacify him. Relieve stress. Soothe. Calm.

Wouldn't it be great? Instant peace?

In reviewing my current memory verses, Jeremiah 29:10-13, we've talked about how

our future is tied to our past
we have to wait on God's perfect timing
God has plans to prosper us
God's prosperity is entwined with peace
God's peace can mean completeness, soundness, welfare.

And we can know all of these things... and still not feel at peace. Sometimes when I am not a peace I end up realizing that I don't really want peace. I want satisfaction. I want it done my way. I will have peace when things are going my way. Or so I think.

But the kind of peace that God promises is not tied to my satisfaction. It's not tied to the completion of an event or thing or relationship. It's tied to God.

But they that wait upon the LORD
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31 KJV

Waiting on the Lord renews our strength. Waiting on an event or thing or relationship depletes our strength. And in waiting... we learn... sometimes over and over again... how faithful God is. If we look back over lessons learned in our life we will see that God was faithful.

"I know what it is to be in need,
and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret
of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry,
whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything
through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:12-13

So, here's the secret to peace:

Then you will call upon me and
come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me
when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:12-13

And Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and named it
Yahweh-Shalom (which means “the Lord is peace”). Judges 6:24a NLT

Prosperity of Peace

"For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and
not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

"Plans to prosper you..." We all want to prosper, don't we? We think of prosperity... wouldn't everything just be perfect? If we just had enough... and maybe a little to spare... And if we stop here, and think... God wants me to prosper. So, where's it all at?

Definition of Prosper:

to rush
to advance, prosper, make progress, succeed, be profitable
to make prosperous, bring to successful issue, cause to prosper
to show or experience prosperity, prosper

In a previous post, we looked at different versions of Jeremiah 29:11 where the word "prosper" is also translated as peace, good, wholeness, welfare, care... and shalom.

Shalom meaning: completeness, soundness, welfare, peace

completeness (in number)
safety, soundness (in body)
welfare, health, prosperity
peace, quiet, tranquillity, contentment
peace (from war)
peace, friendship
~of human relationships
~with God especially in covenant relationship

So, today... consider this... where do you need to prosper? What kind of peace are you lacking?

Because God has plans for you. To prosper you. He wants you to experience the Prosperity of Peace.

Wouldn't everything just be perfect? If we just had enough... and maybe a little to spare... And if we stop here, and think... God wants me to prosper in peace... So, where's it all at?



*part of a series on Jeremiah 29:10-13

I Prayed For You Today

I prayed for you today.

I prayed for God to change you.

And I realized that I was praying for Him to change you to be... more like me.

And that didn't seem like the right prayer, so
I prayed for God to reveal your weaknesses to you.

But that didn't seem right either, so
I prayed for God to draw you closer to Christ.

Which was good, but then
I prayed for God to do what He thought was best.

And I realized perhaps God has you exactly where He wants you to be.

And I prayed for God to forgive me... for thinking that I knew better than He did.

And I prayed for God to change me. For Him to change me to be... more like Him.

And I prayed for God to reveal my weaknesses to me... which He did.

And I prayed for God to draw me closer to Christ.

And then I prayed for God to do what He thought was best.

And I realized that now perhaps God has me exactly where He wants me to be.


*Inspired by Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman, Week 5, Day 4

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and
not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future." ~ NIV


For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
saith the LORD,
thoughts of peace, and
not of evil,
to give you an expected end. ~ KJV


"For I know the plans I have for you,"
says the LORD.
"They are plans for good and
not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope." ~ NLT


“For I know the plans I have for you,
declares the Lord,
plans for wholeness and
not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope. ~ ESV


'For I know the plans that I have for you,'
declares the LORD,
'plans for welfare and
not for calamity
to give you a future and a hope'. ~ NASB


For I have known the thoughts that I am thinking towards you
-- an affirmation of Jehovah;
thoughts of peace, and
not of evil,
to give to you posterity and hope. ~ YNG


For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
saith Jehovah,
thoughts of peace, and
not of evil,
to give you in your latter end a hope. ~ DBY


For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
says the LORD,
thoughts of shalom, and
not of evil,
to give you hope in your latter end. ~ HNVpd

I know what I'm doing.
I have it all planned out—
plans to take care of you,
not abandon you,
plans to give you the future
you hope for. ~ MSG

It Is All Greek (or Hebrew) to Me!

I am so excited about a post I am working on to share with you! As preparation for it, I wanted to share a previous post as an introduction to it. Focusing on different translations of the Bible... and the tools that we have now to assist us with studying the Bible.

Originally aired on 09/02/08 during a series I wrote on the 23rd Psalm.
All Scripture is God-breathed...

All Scripture is God-breathed and
is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and
training in righteousness,
so that the man of God
may be thoroughly equipped
for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV)

Why are there so many different translations of the Bible?

There are many answers to this question and I'm not a scholar on translations, but I'll give it a try. There are some who translate the Bible word for word from the original language into English. However, some words do not translate well and sometimes the thought or content of the meaning is lost. Others translate the Bible thought for thought. They read the passage in the original language and try to convey the thought of the section they are interpreting. Some use contemporary terminology as opposed to the King James Version which is just majestic, isn't it! And there are versions that are adapted for almost any reading level.

As to the question of which translation to use...

First of all, I would encourage you to have the translation that your pastor uses the most. If you do not know which version it is, just call the church office. I think it is important to have your own Bible when you are being taught. I know the words are on the screen for some of us... but I challenge you with this... when you're at home crying your eyes out and you want to know where that verse was at about Peace that the pastor just spoke about yesterday... it's helpful to have a sense of what page it was on in your own Bible.... and to see verses in their entire context.

And that brings me to online Bibles which are amazing and phenomenal! But I caution you that when you look up a particular verse to make sure you pull up either the whole chapter or at least a section of verses. It is so important to read the Bible in context. It's how God intended us to use it... and it keeps us from twisting scriptures and claiming things that were never promised.

The online Bibles I use the most are BibleGateway and Blue Letter Bible. BibleGateway is great for searching by topic or phrase or verse in numerous versions of the Bible. Blue Letter Bible is awesome especially when you want to compare the same verse in different versions at the same time. It is also helpful when you want to see the original language.

Oh, there is so much more to share! Sisters, all I know is that when you read the words of the Author... you come to know the Author... and even more so... the Author's love for you.

Psalm 23 (New International Reader's Version)

1 The Lord is my shepherd.
He gives me everything I need.
2 He lets me lie down in fields of green grass.
He leads me beside quiet waters.
3 He gives me new strength.
He guides me in the right paths for the honor of his name.
4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid.
You are with me.
Your shepherd's rod and staff comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me right in front of my enemies.
You pour oil on my head.
My cup runs over
I am sure that your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.
And I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

How Long Do I Have to Wait?

Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days...
A woman in a crowd who had suffered for twelve years...
A woman appeared with a spirit that crippled her for 18 years...
A man who was blind from birth...

"For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and
not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

We often wonder... "How long do I have to wait?"

Until my child is healed of leukemia?
Until I get a job?
Until my marriage is healed?
Until my child learns self-control?
Until I no longer suffer with depression?
Until I get over my heart break?
Until my husband is healed of his addiction?

Indeed. How long? Let's look at the verse that precedes Jeremiah 29:11...

This is what the LORD says:
"When seventy years are completed for Babylon,
I will come to you and
fulfill my gracious promise
to bring you back to this place."
Jeremiah 29:10

When seventy years are completed? Huh? Do I have to wait 70 years?

Honestly, I don't know how long you will have to wait for God to fulfill a promise that He has made to you. In the New Testament we see that Jesus performed miracles for people who waited four days... twelve years... eighteen years... or their whole life.

So, I ask you... can you wait? Can you wait for God's timing? And what will you do if you choose to wait? And if you don't want to wait... what other options are there?

Waiting...
It's painful.
It's exhausting.
It's not easy.

But there is...
Hope.
Confidence.
Peace.
...and a Future.



"While I'm Waiting" lyrics by John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

John Waller - While I'm Waiting (Official Music Video) from Provident Label Group on Vimeo.

We Meet, Again

You stopped by the Friendship Card Desk today. I wasn't supposed to be there. I was supposed to be helping with the Church Directory photo sign-ups and the Information Desk. But Pastor Tom had called and asked... and I agreed.

So, I was there. When you turned in your Membership Update. That normally would have been turned in at the Information Desk. But no, you were supposed to stop by... weren't you? So that Anthony and I would look at each other and say... Wasn't he the one we met last year? The one who made me think... who are you? And what a privilege it is... to see you, again... and to remember how precious you are to the Lord... and me, too.

originally posted March 09, 2008
And I thought... who are you?

I met you today. I might've passed by you, but I noticed that you were filling out a "Friendship Card" before church which made me think that you might be a visitor.

I casually stopped by and said hello and introduced myself. You mentioned that you used to attend church here about a decade ago... but so much had happened... Then I noticed you were shaking and you mentioned that your wife had recently committed suicide.

My husband joined us and we found out that you knew a former pastor who still attends church here. Anthony thought if you knew the former pastor you might also remember Sam and you said you did. We prayed with you and asked if you would join us in Sunday School. You weren't sure, but we looked in and saw that Sam was there... we asked Sam if he would come out and speak with you... and he did.

Anthony and Sam caught you before you exited the church. They took you over to our new little cafe area... and spoke with you... and ministered to you. I thought to myself... who are you that God would providence that we would meet... Anthony would ask if you knew Sam... and Sam would be here today... and you would be ministered to?

I went to Sunday School and then church service not knowing how it all worked out... the choir sang "I'm Amazed"... and I thought I hoped you were in service because I knew that song would minister to you.

And then the former pastor that you knew got up on the platform to pray... and my heart jumped... and I wondered... who are you that God would work all these things together for you? This former pastor had not gotten up on the platform in a long time... I knew God had planned this for you.

And then... the former pastor mentioned that he had run into someone he hadn't seen in a while whose family member had committed suicide... and my heart jumped again, because I knew you had hooked up with him.

And as I wondered who you were that God would love you so much to bless and minister to you this morning... I realized I knew you. You are a precious child of God.

And then I realized how much God must love me to show His Handiwork in progress... that He would give me such a glimpse into how He cares for you... made me realize how much He cares for me, too.

I'm Amazed
No one knew how alone I was feeling,
And the emptiness I tried so hard to hide.
Though I laugh and said my life was fine without you.
I was covering up the secret tears I cried.
Then one day someone told me of your mercies,
And the love you showed on a Hill called Calvary.
There you died and purchased my redemption,
When you broke in spite and set my spirit free.

Chorus
I'm amazed that you love me I'm amazed how you care
Through Your precious blood I've found pardon
And my sins are washed they're all washed away
All my sins are washed away

Yes there've been days when I've failed you.
Lord you know the many times I've gone astray.
Lord I've learned your love is stronger than my weakness,
And your ear is open every time I pray.
No one else has ever cared for me like you Lord.
Other friends could never be as close to me.
I'm not afraid to face the problems of tomorrow,
Knowing you are everything I'll ever need.

The denouement.

On the Sidelines since 2004

Tears began to fill my eyes. The pressure was too much to bear. The anticipation. The excitement. The denouement!

I was waiting at the finish line. Waiting. Looking. Hoping.

I found myself actually trying to will Anthony across the finish line on Sunday. Trying to will him to finish the Portland Marathon. But what could I do at this point? With .2 miles to go? There was nothing I could do. But wait. And it was frustrating me. There was nothing I could do.

Throughout the marathon I could meet Anthony and give him encouragement... or a bottle of Vitamin Water... or his sunglasses... or a granola bar. During his training I could listen as he talks through his strategies for running the marathon. I could support him at races of varying length throughout the year. I could drive him to the marathon. I could go to Red Robin to pick up a burger that he craves after a marathon.

But I can't run with him. (He's too fast for me!) And I can't run the marathon for him. And I can't even will him to finish.

As I struggled through my emotions, I recognized a familiar sensation. It reminded me of those sisters (and brothers) I pray for... especially those going through life-changing crisis... which are taking a long time to work through.

Sometimes when I am praying for someone especially for a long season, I want to run the race for them. "Here's what you should do" or "Let me do that for you" or "Keep trying"... are words that swirl in my head. I feel like I am standing on the sidelines... cheering them on... and wanting to will them to the finish as quickly as possible... so that we can celebrate. But sometimes there is nothing else I can do. I have to let that person run the race. Run their race. At their pace.

And as their support crew, I pray and I wait and I look and I hope.

And as I am waiting... I can offer encouragement via Facebook . I can give a cold glass of water (or a nice hot latte with pumpkin spice). I can listen as they talk through words they want to pen. I can suggest books. I can drive them to work or Bible Study. I can go with them to the doctor and listen to the diagnosis. And I can even go to Red Robin to get them a burger.

But what I can't do... is run the race for them. Which in reality is what I need to remind myself. So that I don't try to fix the problem. Not that I would ever try that, right?

I have a friend who has to remind me... "You don't need to say anything, Sheri." So, I don't.

But I pray.

(And if I feel so led... send her* a book.)

Lima Beans and The Relevance of the Old Testament

Who Knew?

For 41 years. I had waited 41 years to find out the truth. This summer I had a big revelation. I could have continued on. Not knowing. Being oblivious. Thinking I knew the answer. The truth be known, I grew up in the suburbs... not a farm. So... how was I supposed to know... that lima beans grow in pods? That the little beans did not just grow on a vine? I mean really... how was I supposed to know?

Admittedly, I am a student at heart. A thinker. A fact gatherer. And true to my heart, I study the Bible. I study the Word of God. Sometimes devouring it.

As I contemplated my current memory verse selection -- Jeremiah 29:10-13-- I thought... there are some who will say, "Sheri, this is my life verse!" but then I knew there are others who would say, "Sheri, I just read the New Testament. I don't think the promises of the Old Testament are meant for today."

And so, I think of those who may not find the Old Testament to be relevant to today. Or conflicting to the New Testament. And then I thought about a couple quotes from Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman.

Your future is tied to your past.

You cannot amputate your history from your destiny.

And I thought of Jesus. The Old Testament IS Jesus' past. It is Jesus' history.

Jesus over and over again refers to the Scriptures (aka Old Testament):

“Get out of here, Satan,” Jesus told him. “For the Scriptures say,‘You must worship the Lord your God and serve only him.’" Matthew 4:10 NLT

Jesus replied, "Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God?" Matthew 12:24

Jesus said to them, "Have you never read in the Scriptures: " 'The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone ; the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes'?" Matthew 21:42

So, it may not really matter in the scheme of things where lima beans come from... about their past or their history... I mean they taste just the same to this city-girl.

But if you truly want to know more about Jesus or the God that you pray to... then you do need to know their history... their character... and then I think the relevance question will take care of itself.

Esther: Week 3, Day 3"A Certain People"

Then Haman said to King Xerxes, "There is a certain people dispersed and scattered among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom whose customs are different from those of all other people and who do not obey the king's laws; it is not in the king's best interest to tolerate them." Esther 3:8 NIV

As soon I read the words on Page 68 of the workbook Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman, I was reminded of the two Holocaust Museums I have visited. One in Washington, DC and the other in Israel.

In 1993 Anthony and I visited the US Holocaust Memorial Museum. And all I can remember is... shoes. A room of shoes. Covered in dirt and dust. One upon the other. Difficult to distinguish one from the other. My brain tried to wrap itself around the number. The number of shoes. There were too many. So many had died. Had been killed. Had been left "anonymous, indefinite, and depersonalized."

Fast forward to 2008. A visit to Israel. A visit to Yad Vashem. The Holocaust Museum. Where you would not focus on a pile of shoes, but one shoe. Where each artifact is directly linked to the victim. The baby shoe of Hinda Cohen (1942-1944).

"And to them will I give in my house
and within my walls
a memorial and a name (a "yad vashem")...
that shall not be cut off. Isaiah 56:5

I found this excerpt from the Yad Vashem Museum... and thought you might find it of interest and value as you work on the study. I have highlighted words that contradict "anonymous, indefinite, depersonalized."

...Yad Vashem focuses on the human story of people in the heart of western civilization... Our aim is to present Jewish people as human beings with discernable identities which the Germans planned to destroy in the name of their murderous racist ideology. From the dust and loss, we are obliged to retrieve the humanity of the victims and uncover families and communities as well as their culture that was annihilated during the Holocaust.

Our aim is twofold: First, to return to the victims their names and faces and thus to thwart the stated Nazi intention of murdering them and wiping out their memory; second, to learn about the victims so that we can remember them.

Jewish history is handed down from generation to generation and strengthens the sense of belonging to the Jewish people...

Our educational approach also aspires to instill in the pupils a feeling of hope. Studying the Holocaust can generate a feeling of helplessness, but we aim to create a dialogue with the past for a better future.

Pages of Testimony serve as symbolic tombstones and commemorate the identities and life stories of each victim that the Nazis murdered.

Millions of victims are still nameless. The generation of Holocaust survivors is naturally diminishing as they pass on and the collection of the missing names has become a major priority in an effort to preserve the memory of Holocaust victims. This race against the clock involves engaging the only people that knew and remember the victims who can still provide the information to preserve their identities.

Inscription on Monument as you exit Yad Vashem

"I will put my breath into you
and you shall live again,
and I will set you upon your own soil..."
Ezekiel 37:14

I hope this gives you another perspective on Haman's objective in Esther 3:8.

PROMISE HOPE FUTURE SEEK FIND

My selection of Memory Verses for the next two months are from Jeremiah 29:10-13. These verses are showing up in too many places for me to ignore them.

Maybe you are interested in some words like:

PROMISE
HOPE
FUTURE
SEEK
FIND

I'm excited about memorizing these verses and posting my thoughts about them. If you are new to my blog, stop by here to see what I am up to... 24 Memory Verses in 12 months. Instead of trying to memorize all four verses at once (like that is going to happen!) I've decided to go slow and easy... intentional and deliberate. And of other interest to me is that I'll be finishing up these verses at the end of the Beth Moore study I am doing on Esther... which is one of the places that the verses popped up.

Siesta Scripture Memory Verses 19 & 20 & 21 & 22

¹⁰ This is what the LORD says:
"When seventy years are completed for Babylon,
I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise
to bring you back to this place.


¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.


¹² Then you will call upon me and
come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.


¹³ You will seek me and find me
when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29: 10 & 11 & 12 & 13 NIV

Have You Ever Wanted to Run Away?

Have you ever wanted to run away... from your past?

Wish all your failures... all your mistakes... foolish choices... would just disappear?

Wouldn't life be better? Easier? Simpler? If we could forget. If those around us would forget.

What would be left, if your past had been perfect? Who would you be?

How would your world be different?

In my current Bible Study, we are being introduced to the significance of Esther's past. Or perhaps her insignificance. Her name. Her position in life. Her family. Her ethnicity.

She was not born to be a queen.

And despite her past, she became one.
And because of her past, she became one.

Her past had shaped her into the one who would be favored.

In the study, we are told that "you cannot amputate your history from your destiny" and that "your future is tied to your past."

And for some that may be hard to hear. Hard to believe. Because you think nothing good can come from the damage that has been done.

But "there is a treasure in your past that God wants to redeem."

Never think it is too late. Never think you will never be enough.

Never think that your past will interfere with what your future could have been... but that God will take your past and use it to shape you into a life of purpose.

"For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.

Then you will call upon me
and come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you.

You will seek me and find me
when you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 29:11-13

*Inspired by Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman, Session One

What If I am Praying for the Wrong Thing?

I took my troubles to the LORD;
I cried out to him,
and he answered my prayer.
~ Psalm 120:1, NLT

We knew something was wrong early on... but we just didn't know what to do about it. Even in preschool the teacher had mentioned that we needed to work with Christopher on hand-eye coordination. And so we did. No change.

When he entered kindergarten, we immediately saw that his handwriting and drawing were quite different than the rest. "Oh, he's a boy," we were often told. And so we waited. No change.

We took him to a two-week class in the summer between first and second grade which was to help with teaching your child handwriting techniques. No change.

Christopher's grades were good. He loved to read. What was I worried about?

A year and a half ago, at a new school, me and a couple moms started a prayer group. To pray for our children and our school. And my prayer for my son was about... handwriting. Every week pretty much... same request... a bit persistent... but not knowing what else to do.

And some of you may think... that's a lame request. Praying for your child's handwriting. Too small of a request. Too trite? Doesn't God have bigger prayer requests to answer?

But I felt compelled... to pray for my child. To seek the best for him. Because I had no answers. So, I went to the One who does.

Within a few months, we received a letter from Christopher's 3rd grade teacher. He was concerned about Christopher's handwriting. Perhaps it was dysgraphia? He suggested a thorough examination by a child psychologist. And so we did.

The examination detected some discrepancies in Christopher's ability to process information. And one of the recommendations was for Christopher to see a behavioral opthamologist. And so we did.

And another thorough examination. And I about cried. As I sat through the exam, I saw how it pinpointed Christopher's weaknesses and strengths in his vision. Not just 20-20, but were his eyes focusing on the same object at the same time. No, they weren't.

Things that I thought were simple, like using an addition table... were impossible for him. His eyes were not focusing in conjunction. He had been overcompensating which is why he had good grades, but sooner or later one of his eyes would have basically given up and allowed the other eye to override.

As we listened to the opthamologist, we found out that Christopher's literal lack of focus contributed to his lack of ability to focus in general. Too easily distracted. We discovered this contributed to hand eye coordination... which explained why on the first day of baseball practice he got hit in the face by a ball lobbed to him by his coach. We learned that he couldn't see the lines of his handwriting paper, so how could he write between the lines? or color within the lines?

There was so much more than we ever realized. And we didn't know that. All we knew was to pray... for his handwriting.

And you know what... God knew what I was asking for... even though I didn't have the right diagnostic codes for it. Even though some thought that I was bothering God with my request.

We had four months of intense visual therapy and exercises. And Christopher's handwriting? Well, some might not notice a difference, but we do. Better concentration. Better hand-eye coordination. The ability to write neater. The ability to use a math table. And more confidence.

So, sometimes... when we are praying... we might not even know what we are asking for... but here's the thing. It is okay to ask. And you may be praying for something that may seem "trite" that in the end... might have been just the tip of the iceberg.

And that's okay... because God is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think... Ephesians 3:20 NASB

What Do You Need?

What do you need?

Do you need to rest?

Do you need peace?

Strength?

Guidance?

Are you afraid?

Do you need protection?

Comfort?

Are your enemies succeeding?

Do you need healing?

Is your cup empty of blessings?

Could you use a little goodness?

How about unfailing love?

Do you know what your future holds?

Well, I have some extraordinary news for you...



The Lord is your shepherd;
You have all that you need.

He lets you rest in green meadows;
He leads you beside peaceful streams.

He renews your strength.
He guides you along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.

Even when you walk
through the darkest valley,
Do not be afraid,
for He is close beside you.

His rod and His staff
protect and comfort you.

He prepares a feast for you
in the presence of your enemies.

He honors you by anointing your head with oil.

Your cup overflows with blessings.

Surely God's goodness and unfailing love will pursue you
all the days of your life,
and you will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

Psalm 23 (New Living Translation
- edited by sister sheri)

original post aired 09/04/08

Are You Questioning God?

I read a post today that touched my heart. Actually, it touched my heart because I thought of you. And since we have been discussing prayer... and unanswered prayer... I wanted to share it with you. I think it might be just for you.

I had linked to her post Taking a Break in my post on Unanswered Prayer... I was affected by her transparency during a time of her great pain and sorrow. Her daughter has a very rare brain malformation called Arnold Chiari I.

But to see her transformation... With permission from the author, I'll let her words do the talking!

~~~~

Trusting and Waiting to See His Glory!

"But You, O LORD, are a shield about me,
My glory, and the One who lifts my head." Psalm 3:3

Oh, I wanted to stay angry....embarrassingly, I thought it was my right. This is my daughter after all. But even after typing the previous post the Lord had already begun to work on my heart. I still don't understand it all....but I don't have to... because I know the One who does and I can trust Him.

We have said it all along that God may very well be setting the stage to show His glory in this....but last weekend I just couldn't see past the nose on my face. I was broken over the magnitude of it all.

We moms (and dads) feel like we have to fix it when our children are sick, or sad, or hurt, or upset, don't we? When they ache, oh how we ache too. Somehow I got caught up in trying to fix what I know I cannot fix and I lost sight that our Heavenly Father aches when we ache too. I got wrapped up in the enormity of having to make the decision for surgery and when would be the best time (is there ever a best time for surgery?) and so on and so on.

And then I became frustrated and angry, and in the middle of it all, the Lord encouraged me to trust Him once again. I found that child-like faith again. If the timing of the surgery is not His timing, then He will change it. If the procedure is not the right procedure for Rachel, then the Great Physician will see to it that other arrangements are made. If the plans that have been made are right and in Rachel's best interest, then the doors will remain open. There is much relief and peace in handing that all over to Him once again. He knows this heart of mine too well though. It is my nature to jump into action on behalf of my daughters...but I am reminded that He is not slow to action either and His was are always the best. I choose to trust Him.

I have talked about L.B. Cowman's devotional, "Streams in the Desert" so many times before but in my anger I missed a day. My mom lovingly called me the next day and asked if I had read it. She said that it should have been titled, "My Dear Kristi...."

I picked up the Word for September 20th and sobbed. Oh, how timely is the Lord! I know that it is long, but if you would like to read it too, I will post it below. Thank you for your prayers and encouraging comments and cards. I am so blessed by all of you.

September 20, Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman

"Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40)

"Mary and Martha could not understand what their Lord was doing. Each of them had said to Him, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." (vv.21, 32). And behind their words we seem to read their true thoughts: "Lord, we do not understand why you waited so long to come or how you could allow the man you love so much to die. We do not understand how you could allow such sorrow and suffering to devastate our lives, when Your presence might have stopped it all. Why didn't you come? Now it's too late, because Lazarus has been dead four days!" But Jesus simply had one great truth in answer to all of this. He said, in essence, "You may not understand, but I am telling you that if you believe, you will see."

Abraham could not understand why God would ask him to sacrifice his son, but he trusted Him. Then he saw the Lord's glory when the son he loved was restored to him. Moses could not understand why God would require him to stay forty years in the wilderness, but he also trusted Him. Then he saw when God called him to lead Israel from Egyptian bondage.

Joseph could not understand his brothers' cruelty toward him, the false testimony of a treacherous woman, or the long years of unjust imprisonment, but he trusted God and finally he saw His glory in it all. And Joseph's father, Jacob, could not understand how God's strange providence could allow Joseph to be taken from him. Yet later he saw the Lord's glory when he looked into the face of his son, who had become the governor for a great king and the person used to preserve his own life and the lives of an entire nation.

Perhaps there is also something in your life causing you to question God. Do you find yourself saying, "I do not understand why God allowed my loved one to be taken. I do not understand why affliction has been permitted to strike me. I do not understand why the Lord has led me down these twisting paths. I do not understand why my own plans, which seemed so good, have been so disappointing. I do not understand why the blessings I so desperately need are so long in coming."

Dear friend, you do not have to understand all of God's ways of dealing with you. He does not expect you to understand them. You do not expect your children to understand everything you do--you simply want them to trust you. And someday you too will see the glory of God in the things you do not understand."

Isn't that an incredible devotion?! Yes, I can trust the One who lifts my head again so that I may watch and see His glory in this.

~~~~~

A Special Broadcast by sister sheriEsther Week 1, Day 5

Dear sisters (and brothers!)

Thank you for stopping by and visiting The Leaking Window! Please bear with me as I begin the study of Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman. Some of the posts may be specific in nature to the study (like today's) but others will be similar in format to my normal blogging.

Please feel free to join me as I do this Bible Study. I am so excited that my natural born sister has decided to join me from 3,000 miles away... so we can do the study "together"!

I've also started a Facebook Group specifically for those of us who are going through the study right now. Let me know if you would like to join us. I'd love to link your blog posts... or any thoughts you have. We're on this adventure together! (And by the way... if you want to make the cookie recipe on page 224 and let me have a sample... I am all for that!)

I so appreciate you taking your time to stop by and read my ramblings. I think of you every day... and I pray that this blog in some way brings you encouragement to draw closer to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Blessings!
sister sheri

ps This link that will give you more details about this Bible Study. It also includes endnotes, viewer guide answers and more. Look for the downloadable PDFs at the bottom of the page. If you're interested in viewing individual sessions or audio sessions, you can stop by here and order them.

P-U-R-I-M

We will be introduced to The Feast of Purim later in the book of Esther. However, Beth encourages us to keep track of our own "P-U-R-I-M" of the Book of Esther or keeping a chart of

Parties
Unknowns
Rescues
Ironies
Moments

Below you will find my answers for P-U-R-I-M (some from the book... some from me... and some from the gals at my Bible Study table) for the first chapter of Esther. You'll find a pullout in the back of the book.

PLEASE let me know of your P-U-R-I-M findings so that I can pass them on to other ladies, too.

Parties -
180-day Display of Wealth
7-day Banquet for least to greatest
Banquet for Women given by Vashti

Unknowns-
Why Vashti refused the command

Rescues-
Memucan "rescues" King Xerxes pride

Ironies-
Xerxes can't control own wife but commands others to do so
Vashti's refusal = her ultimate punishment

Moments
Vashti's refusal
King's decree

Advice about Advice Esther: Week 1, Day 4

Yesterday, I sat in awe as I listened to the discussion. We had just finished watching Session 1 of Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman. There were 10 of us sitting around a table made for eight, and as we tried to hear each other over the excitement of the other ladies in the room... it was as if we were the only people there.

Our hearts had melded together. Each woman having heard her heart's cry on the DVD was now given opportunity to share their pain and their past. But even more so, they shared their insight... their experience... their hope and sometimes... their advice. All out of love and encouragement and personal knowledge.

Their advice. Their counsel. All given out of care and compassion. All for the benefit of the hearing of another. With no agenda. With motivation from a pure heart. And my heart felt like it might burst out of my chest because I was privy to watch it all unfold.

God has brought together an amazing group of women. I know it is true for others, too. But I get this glimpse. This peak. To look through this window.

Oh, how I want to share their stories. How God has woven us all together either by experiences with rejection or suicide or alternate lifestyles or depression or alcoholism or lost loved ones or health issues or age. Women single due to divorce or death of a spouse... or waiting.

A young mom in her twenties. Two single gals in their thirties. Five of us in our 40-50-60s. Two women in their eighties. All sitting around discussing how Esther would end up becoming queen. But first discussing the missteps of Vashti and Xerxes. And the decisions that they made. And the counsel that was given.

The advice King Xerxes received. The counsel given by "dangerously tender egos." Given not out of care and compassion. Not for the benefit of the hearing of another. But with their own agenda. With motivation from selfish hearts. (Which also reminded me of silly King Rehoboam see 1 Kings 12:1-15.)

And worse yet... he took it. He took their advice. And many suffered.

Plans go wrong for lack of advice;
many advisers bring success.
Proverbs 15:22 NLT

Which makes me wonder... Who is sitting at your "table"? Who is giving you advice? If anyone? Girls, we need our sisters. Our sisters who have been there... who are trustworthy... who love us... who have our best interest at heart.

And for those of us who may be charged by the Lord to give advice... We cannot hold back if the Lord has asked us to come alongside someone to speak truth into their life. Knowing we are accountable for the words we give... and knowing we are accountable for the words we withhold.

Guide older women into lives of reverence
so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks,
but models of goodness.

By looking at them,
the younger women will know how to
love their husbands and children,
be virtuous and pure,
keep a good house, be good wives.
We don't want anyone looking down
on God's Message because of their behavior.
Titus 2:3-5 MSG

Failure is an Option

I failed.

I was given a test... and I failed.

I trusted my feelings instead of trusting God.

Didn't I just finish a Bible Study about this very thing?

Now, I am dealing with the repercussions. The dreaded SELF-TALK. Thinking through what I should have done differently.

But the thing is... when I got my grade for the test, it was an A+.

Because out of my failure, I have another prime example of when I should have trusted God... and I love Him for showing me that.

That He is trustworthy. That He is faithful. That He does speak. That He is in the details.

So, as I spend the next couple days pondering the shoulda, coulda, woulda... God is preparing me for the gooda... oops I mean good.

So, just an FYI... I'm not sure you'd want to copy my answers on your next test.

Trust me on this...

Or should I say... Trust God!

Remember the two benefits of failure.
First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work;
and second, the failure gives you the opportunity
to try a new approach. ~ Roger Von Oech

Esther: Week 1, Day 3

Caesarea, Israel

But when the attendants delivered
the king's command,
Queen Vashti refused to come.

Then the king became furious
and burned with anger.
Esther 1:12 NIV

Refused.

We are not told why Queen Vashti refused the King's command. We can only surmise. We can study the opinions of historical scholars .

But in the end... it doesn't matter why she refused. It only matters that she refused. It is how she is remembered.

And the consequence is the same. No matter the reason.

Why do we feel the need to find a reason for her refusal? Justification?

Is it because we have been in a situation where we refused and were met with a determined consequence? But we felt we were justified?

Just wondering... How will I be remembered?

Unanswered Prayer.

A window of opportunity. The rain had stopped, so I quickly ran outside to pick green beans for dinner. Not knowing how long the rain break would last, I passed by every distraction and began the reaping. It was the best harvest of beans yet.

I am still amazed at our little vegetable garden. I plant seeds. I water. Sometimes I remember to fertilize. And then something happens... a seedling... a plant... flowering... starts and then the bounty.

But there are times... that nothing happens. I plant. I water. I fertilize. I wait. I wait. I wait. And then the wondering begins... was something wrong with the seed? did I do something wrong? Why would one seed bloom but another would not?

And so it is with our prayers. Sometimes the answer is more than we could hope or dream. A bounty. And sometimes we wait. And nothing happens. And we wonder why God answers one prayer and not the other.

After reading her post today, I feel trite in even trying to post these thoughts which have been stewing for over two weeks now. But I am going to try. I admit that I do not have all the answers... but God does. And He can make sense of my thoughts... even when I cannot.

An outline found in the book Too Busy Not to Pray gives a general idea.

• If the request is wrong, God says, "No."
• If the timing is wrong, God says, "Slow."
• If you are wrong, God says, "Grow."
• But if the request is right, the timing is right and you are right, God says, "Go!"

"No" ~ Friday, I had the privilege of praying with other moms from Christopher's school. One of the moms said that her children wanted us to pray that they would not have homework over the weekend. We chuckled as we discussed the request. We felt we needed to bring their request before the Lord... and yet the request was selfishly motivated.

"Slow" ~ I also had the opportunity to see some closure to something I had been praying about for over a year and a half. Something that I thought would have occurred a year ago. And when I realized that it was going to take much longer then I anticipated... I had to find my strength in the Lord and trust him for his timing. I have to admit that because of the delay I drew closer to the Lord and have a new perspective on the situation. And looking back now... I see how the timing is... well, perfect.

"Grow" ~ God treasures our relationship with Him so much that He chooses it over our comfort or desires. If we do not know Him or if we are out of relationship with Him, He will choose our greater good.

I'll discuss "Grow" and "Go" in another post.

But for now... Why don't you tell me what you think about unanswered prayers?

"Frequently I have wondered if God was saying, 'No,'
only to find out later that hew was saying, 'Not yet'
so that he could orchestrate a greater miracle
than I had the faith to pray for in the beginning." ~ Bill Hybels

I Don't Like Confessing My Sins Either!

Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything,
by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

In the post Is a Growth Spurt Contagious?, I began a conversation with a dear sister about prayer. She has given me permission to share our dialogue for the benefit of others. I have changed some details to protect her privacy.

I love that she is comfortable enough to share her feelings and questions that often go unsaid. Most would fear what others would think of them, but she is seeking the Lord with a pure child-like heart. And she will be blessed for it.

Dear Sheri

I don't know if you know this but before my husband and I got together I never stepped foot in a church, not once. I was very hesitant at first because -- what did I know about the Lord? I felt I had no right to be in a church, not only because of the things I have done but because I have never worshiped before.

I still struggle every day with knowing what is right. I have a lot to learn. I have not read the whole Bible but I am trying. I have a hard time understanding, my husband helps and I love to read your blogs. I guess I am just a child introduced into the church.

When we left church last Sunday, I asked my husband and step-child how it felt to feel the presence of Jesus. (Let me explain, a lady at church said the Lord convicted her to do something.) My step-child said, "You feel at peace." I believe that because I feel that is what my husband's parents have. I explained to them that I have seen his miracles at our home. I've seen money appear in the bank when we really needed it and didn't have it, I guess I just don't feel the peace. I'm trying to understand how to find that "Peace." (I believe I am getting into a whole other story, lol.)

I have read your A.C.T.S. blog and it was one that had stuck with me because I always thought I was doing it wrong. I have read in the Bible, I believe, not to repeat your needs to the Lord because he already knows what they are. I tend to find myself doing that a lot, once I realize that I get discouraged.

In your post you say...adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication. I sin everyday and confession is the one thing I have a hard time doing and I don't know why. Don't get me wrong, I have asked for forgiveness many times and I understand that he died for our sins. I believe I don't deserve forgiveness.

I have daily problems that I ask the Lord to help. I get to the point where I just feel that the Lord doesn't want to help me and that I don't deserve his help because I am flawed. Like I said, I have a lot to learn.

And my response...

Dear sister,

I'm so glad that you feel comfortable enough to talk with me about this.

First and foremost! I don't like confessing my sins either! But by confessing them we are examining ourselves. We're able to ask God for help and perhaps see what is the real root problem. I've heard it said that most of our sins are because we are filling a legitimate need illegitimately. We're also acknowledging that Christ's death and resurrection occurred for a reason. To save us from our sin.

I guess you are right when you say you don't believe that you deserve God's forgiveness. No one does. It's a gift. We just need to receive it. I think we are harder on ourselves. God has offered us grace and life.

Again, your desire for peace has to do with learning more about the Lord. Growing. Now that you long for that peace... you can pray for it. I also think you could be experiencing it and not even realizing it. For example, have you noticed that there are times that you've handled a situation differently than in the past? Not quite as angry. Not quite as fearful. Not quite as nervous.

In regards to repetition of prayer, this always confused me, too. My understanding now of this verse (Matthew 6:7-8) is that God doesn't want us just repeating prayers without thinking about them. Just saying the words and not thinking about them. He calls us to intercede and that means we may be praying years for a lost loved one. We wouldn't just pray once, right? And it is true for the small things, too. (Read Luke 18:1-8 about the Persistent Widow.)

I'm so glad that you were open to the idea of coming to church when you were asked to. It must have been difficult. You are very brave.

I pray that you will find the peace you are seeking. I will be praying for you.

With much prayer and love,
Sheri

“Should we all confess our sins to one another
we would all laugh at one another
for our lack of originality.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

Esther: Week 1, Day 2

For a full 180 days
he displayed the vast wealth of
his kingdom and
the splendor and glory of
his majesty.
Esther 1:4 NIV

Today's lesson reminded me of another king who lived 200 years before Xerxes. King Hezekiah. A King of Judah who thought nothing of showing messengers from Babylon "all that was in his storehouses—the silver, the gold, the spices and the fine oil—his armory and everything found among his treasures."

Our church did the Bible Study "Life Principles from the Kings of the Old Testament" in the fall of 2006. I loved studying the kings of the Old Testament. I'm not sure why... perhaps because everything tasted sweeter after "The Dark Night of My Soul" in early 2006.

Anyway, Hezekiah, Day 4 talked about "Stumbling in the Crisis of Prosperity." Some of the thoughts shared in the study were..."Until Hezekiah had shown them the treasury, Babylon probably thought little of Judah and Jerusalem... Nothing good ever comes from bragging."

Hezekiah didn't have to shoulder the consequences, but it didn't turn out too great for his descendants.

2 Kings 20:12-21 (NIV)

Envoys From Babylon

At that time Merodach-Baladan son of Baladan king of Babylon sent Hezekiah letters and a gift, because he had heard of Hezekiah's illness. Hezekiah received the messengers and showed them all that was in his storehouses—the silver, the gold, the spices and the fine oil—his armory and everything found among his treasures. There was nothing in his palace or in all his kingdom that Hezekiah did not show them.

Then Isaiah the prophet went to King Hezekiah and asked, "What did those men say, and where did they come from?"
"From a distant land," Hezekiah replied. "They came from Babylon."

The prophet asked, "What did they see in your palace?"
"They saw everything in my palace," Hezekiah said. "There is nothing among my treasures that I did not show them."

Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, "Hear the word of the LORD : The time will surely come when everything in your palace, and all that your fathers have stored up until this day, will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left, says the LORD. And some of your descendants, your own flesh and blood, that will be born to you, will be taken away, and they will become eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon."

"The word of the LORD you have spoken is good," Hezekiah replied. For he thought, "Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?"

As for the other events of Hezekiah's reign, all his achievements and how he made the pool and the tunnel by which he brought water into the city, are they not written in the book of the annals of the kings of Judah? Hezekiah rested with his fathers. And Manasseh his son succeeded him as king.

Esther: Week 1, Day 1

Our Ladies' Bible Study has just begun the Beth Moore study on the book of Esther. Although I was wanting to do the study as soon as it came out... I knew that there was a reason that we would have to wait a few extra months... you know I'm not a girl who believes in coincidences, right?

Just a few thoughts on Week 1, Day 1.

Top of page 12, Beth says, "God will write something new and unexpected of our own into His [story]." Okay, so I'm used to the "new" with God... but the "unexpected"... well, I'll just have to keep my eyes open!

Page 13, Beth reminds us of Romans 15:4 which she also discusses in the video segment.

"For everything
that was written in the past
was written to teach us,
so that through endurance and
the encouragement of the Scriptures
we might have hope."

What a powerful verse! Scriptures encourage us to have hope!

And then the "personal question"... what are you hoping for? And I thought... I'm hoping to act wisely in regards to a certain situation. But not only acting wisely now... but learning something from the situation, so that I don't go through my roller coaster of emotions, again... and so that I can help others who are going through something similar. And that is going to take "endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures"!

So, what about you? What are you hoping for?

Is a Growth Spurt Contagious?

first day preschool 4's ~ 2003

Christopher couldn't sleep last night. Which meant I didn't sleep last night. At 1am I began to ramble off thoughts of what was keeping him from the land of nod. Hunger? Sugar? Growth Spurt? He asked me to clarify what exactly a growth spurt was... and then we tried to drift off to sleep.

This morning when I came down for breakfast, Christopher snuggled close to me on the couch and asked, "Mommy, is a growth spurt contagious? Because I want to know if I can play with Collin today."

I hugged him tight and assured him that it was not contagious, but I'm sure Collin... like any boy... wouldn't mind catching it!

first day 5th grade ~ 2009

And all of this growth spurt talk reminded me of another type of growth spurt...

Recently, I asked my FB friends, "Who taught you how to pray?"

Dixie: I would have to say my Mother.
Mark: Jesus
Phil: the parental unit known as Bill & Joy. Saw my dad praying every morning when I got up for 15 years.
Amy: The Lord's Prayer
Shannon: My Missionette leader
Leila: I learned how to pray by going through life situations that made me get real and talk to Him from my heart.

But the response that touched me the most was sent to me privately.

Sheri, no one taught me how to pray and I believe that I do not do it right. Is there a certain way to pray?

And first my heart ached for the one who thought they "do not do it right" but then my heart leapt... because I realized that this question was coming out of a growth spurt! And so I responded:

Great question! But first and foremost... please, don't ever think that you do not do it right. I think perhaps we get to a point in our prayer life where we want to go deeper with the Lord, to know Him in a more intimate way, to trust Him more. Just like when your baby learns to walk... she'll start with a crawl... then an unbalanced wobble... then a walk holding on to things for support... and then... and then... she'll run! And you'd have to admit that she did everything right... in its time.

I think one of the best ways to learn how to pray is by finding prayers in the Bible. Even starting with the Lord's prayer. Seeing how Jesus prays is helpful in teaching us how to pray.

I also highly recommend the acronyms A.C.T.S. You can check out my post on that one and let me know if you have any questions.

The book I am currently reading Too Busy Not to Pray is PHEnomenal! Are you a book reader? It's not too long of a read. I'm taking a chapter at a time so that it will really sink in... He does an incredible job of describing how to use A.C.T.S. If you like, I'll send you a copy?

Another book series is by Stormie Omartian... The Power of a Praying Wife, Woman, Parent. Each chapter talks about something to pray for... gives Bible verses... and then a sample prayer. I've learned a lot by listening to other people pray. But then finding my own comfort zone.

I've also found that our life experiences end up teaching us how to pray. When I was going through a deep depression in 2006... I begged the Lord to heal me immediately. When He didn't, I continued to pray in desperation... I began journaling daily. Sometimes thoughts... sometimes prayers. I continued to seek Him... and to listen to what I was praying. I relied upon Him so much and found true comfort when I would pray that it has become very much part of who I am.

I hope this gives you a place to start. You know to think of it... I've been praying for you for almost six years.

How about you, friend? Have you had a growth spurt lately? Because when it comes to spiritual growth spurts... I actually do believe they are contagious!

So then neither the one who plants
nor the one who waters is anything,
but God who causes the growth.
1 Corinthians 3:7 NASB

September 11, 2001

Originally aired on September 11, 2008
Where Were You?

There are certain events in our lives that mark us. That change how we are. That change how we think... that mature us too quickly... and make us wonder...

I had not been born when President Kennedy had been assassinated.
Two days before I was born Martin Luther King, Jr. had been killed.

But I do remember where I was when I heard about
The Challenger crash in 1986
Oklahoma City Bombing in 1995
Columbine in 1999

and the World Trade Centers in 2001.

I was asleep when the first plane hit. I woke up and Anthony had the television on... I watched in disbelief as over and over and over again the first plane hit the building. I remember thinking that there must not have been anyone on board. There couldn't be. That plane had to be empty.

And then it came. The second plane. Well, I just thought they were replaying the first plane. No, a second plane. And within a few minutes someone at the Pentagon saying they felt something. And I thought "What an overreaction... nothing could happen to the Pentagon." On and on it went.

I went to Bible Study that Tuesday morning. I thought we would all be taking the morning to pray. But it was business as usual. I think we came together on Wednesday night to pray... You see living on the west coast... we weren't in the midst of it all. It took some time feel the aftershocks.

We were supposed to get on a plane on Friday, September 14th of 2001. Anthony's brother was to get married on the 15th. Anthony and Christopher were to be in the wedding. Could we get there? How about a train or could we drive? Not enough time at this point.

And on Friday the 14th quiet airports started to hum again. Yes, our flight was one of the first to take-off. But our parents begged us not to... not even for a wedding. They could not live with themselves if something happened to our flight. The unknowing. The fear.

We stayed home and grieved. Being away from family during good times and bad... is so very difficult. I remember Anthony's mom telling us that she asked that the wedding photographer not take a family photo... since not all of the family was there.

I had been to the top of the World Trade Center back in 1985. I used to work just minutes from the Pentagon. I would pass it each morning on the way to work. We still fly in and out of Dulles Airport on United Airlines.

It's not the same anymore. Christopher will never know of a world without 9/11. And even though he was too young to remember. He will never be able to forget.

We will never forget.